Never Separated Poem by Laura arwen

I feel lost
every day
I don't want
to be separated
from my loneliness
and my stubbornness
I feel terrible
to have chaos
and spend money
I have to
re-balance myself
I don't believe
in nothing
My obsession for
order is terrible
Sometimes it seems
my life is
a continuous sacrifice
It's hard to
have healthy expectations
I have no
reason to stay
here in this
world
I'm mentally obsessed
with books
I'm worried to
not be able
to use imagination
or write my
feelings
I refuse to
be negative
Probably I'm suspicious
of everything and
everyone
There's no way
I'm fully aware
of my emotions
or sensations
I know to
be different but
I don't know
why I feel
it
I have to
wait and resist
for my future
perfect loneliness