No Mahalo To You, Oscar Mayer Poem by Joe Rosochacki

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
cause if i were a oscar mayer weiner
everyone would be in love
oh everyone would be in love
everyone would be in love with me.
Fat Chance!
(By the way, each serving, one hot dog, contains 180 calories; 150 are from fat.)
The Weinermobile did make a stop in the Hawaiian Island of O’ahu.
The Weinermobile was welcomed with an official “Oscar Mayer Weiner Day”
--by the mayor of Honolulu.
Until six to nine residents did complain, -later they would get it their way.
(My bad- that is Burger King advertisement.)
It lasted three weeks,
The thought of advertising this way was banned by the state 1927,
This banned all billboards from the islands that are considered to terrestrial heaven.
If Don Ho, were to sing the wiener song above,
Would the feelings be different?
I visited the islands on two separate occasions.
How I wish there had been a hot dog, instead all the SPAM.
I would rename the previous Solomon, later the Hawaiian Islands—SPAMELOT.
You see, the native people there, they seemed hooked on SPAM.
.There were no MREs (meals ready to eat) and SPAM (shoulder of pork and ham) ,
With its canning and salt content,
- would able to withstand spoilage well after the next century,
- at least in a time that was far away.
Next to SPAM was starch, from the taro plant, called ‘Poi’.
Poi was tasteless, sticky substance,
- I think that you snacked on ‘packaging peanuts’,
- that you would in a find a box brought to you by UPS,
had more taste.
So Hawaii, bid farewell to the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile and ask it not to return again.
If Hormel had a car that featured its product -then what would Goddess Pele say?

7-25-09