Rohan Nambiar

Rookie (17-01-1976 / Thalassery)

Noon - Poem by Rohan Nambiar

Its noon, its noon
Sitting outside, a gentle breeze
Followed with a touching smell
Continues on and on
A sound of cooking
Smell of dishes in the air
Can they bring a good noon
Someone watching
others in work
Alone in outdoor
really I am enjoying
Leaves twitter
dancing up and down
A sense of greenery
Make my eyes happy
Its raining here sweating heat in the noon
Makes the people a little drained
Who is the one that comes to eat
That good old homely noon

Comments about Noon by Rohan Nambiar

  • (8/17/2008 4:26:00 AM)

    it is half way therel, the images you use are really human and touching but your poem lacks some poetic impact. Think about trying to give it a rythem or some half rhyme just to give it a poetic feel. There is a lot you could do with this poem because it is a very relatable image but just work on building a poem round your words. xx keep up the good start xx (Report) Reply

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  • (8/3/2008 11:47:00 AM)

    some fine imagery used which completes the picture that you are trying to fuse with your poetic words
    nice one
    (Report) Reply

  • (7/31/2008 1:46:00 PM)

    in your place you probably describe at noon time regularly...I am hungry..
    my stomach need to be's that the point you want?
    (Report) Reply

  • Donna Lee Lee-womack (7/15/2008 8:12:00 AM)

    I thought some words could have been added or deleted. 'cooker'? ? But overall, it was inviting to come to that persons house or neighborhood around noon. Also a picture story was behind it. (Report) Reply

  • (7/14/2008 10:35:00 PM)

    Perhaps you meant 'cooking, ' rather than 'cooker? '
    'sweating' heat, rather than 'swearing heat? ' - although that might be an interesting usage.
    And, I'm guessing, 'drained, ' rather than 'drain? '

    Keep at it, Rohan. A good suggestion I have heard: read lots of poetry, classical and modern. See how the masters get that blend of image, metaphor, symbol, and make a blend as tasty as that lunch you describe.

    Best wishes!
    (Report) Reply

  • (6/17/2008 1:35:00 PM)

    I assume you are describing noon around where you live. This is interesting
    from a cultural standpoint, but a reader of poems wants something more of substance here. The purpose of this writing is missing. The message is
    missing. The why, is missing. That's a lot. Beyond that, there is little
    to comment on except that I got hungry.

    (Report) Reply

  • (6/17/2008 12:28:00 PM)

    i like it. excellent. good job. (Report) Reply

  • (6/16/2008 10:24:00 PM)

    Nice, I thought this very good but was left a little wantting at the end. Some very nice imagies and good choice of words too. I think this could be longer with othervignettes of noon. Nice work. (Report) Reply

  • PERSIAN NIGHTINGALE (6/14/2008 1:44:00 PM)

    lovely poem........10 (Report) Reply

  • (6/14/2008 1:28:00 PM)

    i llike it. good job on making ur senses come to life in this poem good job. (Report) Reply

  • (6/13/2008 11:06:00 PM)

    Noon in effortless words and a good feeling it induce...
    Well described and a good write..
    (Report) Reply

  • Rajaram Ramachandran (6/11/2008 7:37:00 PM)

    You have created a beautiful picture of the noon time. Your writing is simple and touching. (Report) Reply

Read all 12 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Poem Edited: Friday, August 1, 2008

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