Noon Poem by Rohan Nambiar

You have created a beautiful picture of the noon time. Your writing is simple and touching.

Noon in effortless words and a good feeling it induce... Well described and a good write..

i llike it. good job on making ur senses come to life in this poem good job.

lovely poem........10

Nice, I thought this very good but was left a little wantting at the end. Some very nice imagies and good choice of words too. I think this could be longer with othervignettes of noon. Nice work.

it is half way therel, the images you use are really human and touching but your poem lacks some poetic impact. Think about trying to give it a rythem or some half rhyme just to give it a poetic feel. There is a lot you could do with this poem because it is a very relatable image but just work on building a poem round your words. xx keep up the good start xx

some fine imagery used which completes the picture that you are trying to fuse with your poetic words nice one

in your place you probably describe at noon time regularly...I am hungry.. my stomach need to be fed...it's natural...is that the point you want?

I thought some words could have been added or deleted. 'cooker'? ? But overall, it was inviting to come to that persons house or neighborhood around noon. Also a picture story was behind it.

Perhaps you meant 'cooking, ' rather than 'cooker? ' 'sweating' heat, rather than 'swearing heat? ' - although that might be an interesting usage. And, I'm guessing, 'drained, ' rather than 'drain? ' Keep at it, Rohan. A good suggestion I have heard: read lots of poetry, classical and modern. See how the masters get that blend of image, metaphor, symbol, and make a blend as tasty as that lunch you describe. Best wishes!