Not Today Poem by Hannah Roberts

what's up with this depression thing
what makes me feel this way
why do i want to kill myself
almost every day

one day i am happy
the next day i am sad
i wish i knew what triggered this
and why i feel so bad

the scars etched on my skin
remind me of the pain
all the hurt and all the anger
that is driving me insane

amy said it would get better
and that the pain would finally fade
but how can i get past this
with every mistake that i have made

she said dont' use the quick fix
and that i have to take it slow
she said i have to stand
so i can make it through each blow

but standing seems so hard
when i always seem to fall
i know that i can't walk
if i can barely even crawl

i feel completely worthless
like i'm not even there
i'm reaching out for help
but my hands just come up bear

my journal isn't working
my words just get all mixed
i wish that i could find my problem
so it could all be fixed

but maybe i'll get through this
and it'll all just go away
maybe one day i'll be better
even if its not today