Not What It Seems, Not What The World Truly Sees Poem by Samantha Jenks

I tell you to stop but your still going I can feel you there. Pushing you away the harder you fight to stay. You’re on top I can get you off. I try to scream but you’re suffocating me. If you could only see the pain in my eyes. You have no idea how you’ve changed my life. I wish you would die but I will always love you. I feel like you’re the start of it all. After you a part of me died. Apart of me that is lost forever. You made me lose all my confidence and all my pride. I can’t erase the memories of you or the things you made me do. First it was you telling me what to do. But somewhere along the way I followed in your place. It was me doing things for you. But you didn’t understand I did it because I loved, and it was what you wanted me to. I spend my life wishing I could take it all away. Whenever I see you I feel so weak I can’t breathe. I hate you so much but I don’t speak a word, I’m just dead with no more feelings to hurt. Every time I see you I see us, the things we use to do. I’ve moved on but the memories are always with me. Ill never be able to live again, those nights you took more than time. I’m lost drowning in all the tears you made. But now I have the one thing you can’t take. Something I hope you never find. I have the love you once tried to give. It’s been years but the tears still stream flowing down my face like the blood in my veins. I’ve got a patched up heart and an idea. I want you to feel my pain but after all you took from me how could you feel a thing.