Not Worth It Poem by Lucas P

It's not worth this silence
these faceless memories
that bring me shame inside
to someone i cannot see

Foolish and confused
yet i'm not worthy
this glance, this rejection
I thought would benefit me

it's not worth the tears
and certainly not the anguish
It's not worth the ignorance
for something you always languished

Its not worth it
when you feel heavy everyday
you want that feeling gone
but want it back like that once upon a day
it's not worth the waiting
for a sign that never came
nor the endless turning over
of one forgotten name

it's not worth the questions
that circle in the dark
or holding onto shadows
that only leave a mark

it's not worth the hoping
when hope can twist and bend
into something cold and distant
that never seems to end

it's not worth the ache
of trying to understand
why some hearts drift like smoke
right through an open hand

and still there is a part of me
that reaches through the gray
not to bring the whole thing back
but to let it fade away

because maybe peace is quieter
than all I tried to prove
and maybe healing happens
when I finally learn to move

so it's not worth this silence
these faceless memories
I will leave them where they found me
and become who I still can be