Nutri-System And Jenny Craig Are For The Birds Poem by Joe Rosochacki

Thanksgiving came late for these Bald Eagles,
A truckload full of fish for human consumption became their feast.
No such dietary rules were in effect,
For their meal was continuous and did not cease.
They became gluttons and drunk with Omega 6'sand 3's,
And were not able to eat/drink and fly,
They soiled their feathers,
-could not clean them for they were rotund,
The ambient temperature fell to well below freezing and some of them would die.
The remaining birds were cleaned and heated in a warehouse,
-the ones that did survived,
Now the species that is America’s symbol will be alive.
The fad diets usually publicize their selves well,
In the aftermath of holiday's weapons of mass waist destruction,
If only we can only teach the birds how not to pig out,
Then we can have bald eagles around for a lot longer.
They would flourish once again.
But now is the question to how to treat their baldness,
Can you do something for their head, like Rogaine?

(1-12-2008)