Of Circuses And Flying High Poem by Diana van den Berg

Love is
walking tall,
fragile,
exposed,
uncertain,
on a tightrope
and flying terrifyingly high
on a trapeze,
trusting a partner to catch you,
and when your partner fails you,
crashing without a net
and stumbling up,
bruised and braindead,
doing the same stupid thing
over and over again
with the same person
and expecting different results.

Not being loved
is deliciously, vicariously book-safe,
smile-secure,
boundary-free,
knowledge-unbound,
sun-warm
and incomprehensibly happy
if one is strong enough
to make one’s own happiness.

I have savoured love and solitude, both,
and yes, I found both to be enriching –
love is exhilarating, unpredictable, dangerous, validating, deep-eye cuddle-soft;
and solitude is soul-song, as wild as the wind, as strong as an oak, and as wide and as high and as free as the sky;
but solitude is better for me
and more real,
because there is none to love me anymore;
and because I trust myself;
and because I am strong enough
to hold my head up high
and fly solo, wild and free,
and make my own happiness
like a yellow-billed kite playing in the thermals.

Perhaps why I manage so easily
without a man to know and love me
is because I have so much already –

the sun on my shoulders embraces me;
the colours on dragonflies’ gossamer wings enchant me;
the blues of distant mountain ranges enthral me;
summer rains soaking softly into my soul, awaken me;
blue skies with fluffy little clouds delight me;
colours and a million million nuances of light and shadow touch me;
voices of children playing beguile me;
music of birds and frogs and wind and sea and Chopin and Katie Melua inspire me;
boundless ponderings and memories engross me;
deep soul-poetry sings to me;
voices of yore whisper to me;
books invite me;
scent of acacia blossoms permeate me;
orange flowers scattered all over my Erythrina lysistemon tree float me;
my dance with my will power strengthens me;
and my animals on Earth and in Heaven adore me as much as I do them.

Would that everyone were as blessed as I!

(12 September 2012)