One Thought Poem by Robert Hill

I'm lying in bed
and a shiver runs down my spine
and I cant go to sleep
and then a simple yet ungainly question runs through my head
'what have you done with your life? '
and another flash
this time despair runs through
attacking every strand of hair on the back of my neck
reminding me of those days as a child
when I woke to a stunning nightmare
making me realize
that I wont have my parents forever
that one day they're not gonna be beside me
to hold my hand
that it will be you and six feet of dirt
in between you two
heh yeah that despair
the awkward thing is I'm 15
then I say to myself i've got lots of time to do things
but my consionce thinks otherwise
and also tells me to look at all the rest of the time i let go
and I grimace
grimace at the idea that my life will be done
done at the snap of a wire
done like a fly smashed on a windowsill
DONE
DONE AS THE WORDS DRIBLLING DOWN MY LIPS
done
done before i have done anything
historical
heroic
interesting
or to just be known
I worry because I might be dead
dead
like a deer lying on the road waiting for death
to swallow it whole
and if i do die
what do I have to show of it
nothing
NOT A DAMN THING
I try to live my life spontaneous
yet I try to make it still average
but how do you plan for the 'hoped' future
yet have a lively life
I live a minimum of 3 lives
mainly school, home, church
but i wont say the others
its true life is a rollercoaster
and sometimes i wish could throw it all up
yet dont you wish you knew
knew the exact moment of your death
so you can smell the flowers
touch the ground
taste the air
hear every valiant sound
and see the whole world
so you wont stop taking everythings advantage
so you'll try something new
so you can tell someone what you really think of them
because i do