Painful Scary. Poem by Kim Dang

What happened, to our three hour phone calls.
There was a blip to our friendship and now, now
it's like the novelty's worn out.
The excitement tuck its tail between its feet
making it that much more awkward, you see.

By chance, it was serendipitous, something too rare
and by choice, we've held our chests bare
not handing out any promises or expectations
then one day, it all caved in

I wish the happiness didn't end just that way.
Just one day, I noticed the door closed,
I went to investigate, I asked questions, but it was late.
The strokes you once embraced, you choose to misinterpret
as foreign gestures, telling me it seems too public.
It's much too late to have any strength in pressing.
You, much too over it to dole out explanations.

And suddenly, weeks pass by without a word of it
Months past, it becomes old news, it didn't exist.
Much like our closeness, what once was.
Just too fast, too soon, what we rushed.

I really want to press rewind, my first regret.
I'd favor to hear your voice, excited again.
So things wouldn't just float by undone, the rain checks.
They'd be addressed, we'd make it the best.

But you wait just a few days and everyone's tired.
You get pushed on, you can't go back, something's expired,
you've lost that something, in someone, that spark
you've always admired. It was present for you.
So warm, so celebrated, now snuffed - our campfire.

Maybe it's my imagination. After some wine filled rationalizations.
Suddenly we're all too busy, when it's really a shift in our priorities.
Once shone bright as sunshine, now a hidden minority.
It connected us, this porcelain trust, our untainted glory.

I miss the view through the window you've once left open for me.
I miss the carnal comfortability.
I've given up, but I still trust you'll be there for me, just not completely.
You're courteous, polite, you'll bear this vulnerable moment fairly.
You'll tell me to not worry, that it's okay, but it's just - how fast it all derailed.
The rug was pulled from under my feet, and it - it's painful scary.