Panty Hose Troubles Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Some day she says that she will find
a panty hose to fit her waist.
It's not so much that cute behind,
its contours having been erased
by many years of working hard,
additionally, much modern food
turns into, seemingly, just lard
which always dampens her good mood
to see the ripples of soft jelly
what used to be a handsome belly.

The real problem that we face,
abdominal recalcitrance.
The garment will not stay in place,
a sign of sheer belligerence.

On Tuesday we went off to Meyer
to try the newest import on.
The lady said it must go higher,
and by the way they do not run.

So we went home quite empty-handed
because there wasn't any hose
and common sense at last demanded
that she decline. Instead she chose
a pair of German Lederhosen
with Edelweiss suspenders, true.
When we got home her buns were frozen.
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