Robert Edgar Burns

Rookie - 1 Points (02/14/1953 / Dunedin, Florida)

Perplexing - Poem by Robert Edgar Burns

I gave my honey a red silk scarf
Just to tell her I loved her so.
I told her how it matches her eyes.
My two black eyes really show.

I roasted weenies and warmed some buns
Beside a campfire with some friends,
As our britches had caught on fire.
We jumped in the river around the bend.

I visited an orthopedic hospital ward
To do some comedy for patients there.
But they were already all cracked up,
I had to hold them off with a chair.

The black men have such rhythm.
But the Jews own the instruments.
The Puerto Ricans own the switchblades.
Eskimos live in frozen tents.

I swelled up like a big balloon.
For days I could not even fart.
If all of them smelled like coffee,
Your day would have a really great start.

Do you suppose that they smell so bad
So the deaf can enjoy them too?
But it's best if you can hear them,
So you can run when they come for you.

Danny Thomas' nose was twelve inches long
But it later turned into a foot.
If I don't stop being a gas bag,
I am sure I'll have to toot!

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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 9, 2012

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