Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Ph: Prayer: Death: Acceptance Accepted

Rating: 4.9
She prayed, 'Oh now I lay me down to sleep...'
Though these familiar words scarce passed her lips,
She sighed, 'I pray the Lord my soul to take.'
Embraced God's poem of lunar eclipse.

She thought, 'My room's width - twelve lovely dresses,
The height of my sky is a bluebird's flight,
The depth of my ocean just one deep breath,
But vision's boundaries are my mind's sight.'

'Let me welcome my death as I have life,
Knowing where I am is where I belong,
Say farewell to my soul's earthly temple,
My music yield to a heavenly song.'

'Loved ones…! Please don't shower me with flowers,
Or let me die with senses dulled to pain,
See your gentle hearts are my protection………
Oh God….! You're here! My tears feel just like rain ^^^ ^^ ^ ^! '
Brian Johnston
Topic(s) of this poem: Death
Brian Johnston
May 20,2014

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Poet's Notes:
I have done this before, projected my feelings onto a feminine avatar to give myself emotional distance from what I actually feel myself but lack the courage to claim in my own voice. I suspect however that most can see through this artifice.

My apologies to readers for using the '^' symbol instead of the much more subtle '.' to simulate the girl's fading heartbeat and death. The PoemHunter editor / word-processor is a constant frustration to those of us who wish to not only write poems but to sculpt our work as well. Even the use of double quotes is denied. But don't hold your breath waiting for these changes. The problems of this site are legend and PH's response to ideas for improvement close to neanderthal. Still all in all it is a wonderful site and definitely gets at least an 8.0 from me (though customer support is barely passing!)

If money is all that is lacking, I wonder why PH doesn't ask members to make cash donations to support various improvements to the site. I know that I would contribute, wouldn't you?

Special thanks also to the poet Lora Colon for her suggestion that the poem would be better if the fact that the speaker was a dying young girl was made clear earlier in the poem. This addition also let me sneak in the idea of death being like a lunar eclipse which I love a lot...
Georgios Venetopoulos 20 September 2014
It is a very good poem Brian. Congratulations!
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Roseann Shawiak 28 July 2014
Brian, a truly beautiful and heart-felt poem. Accepting someone's acceptance of death is truly remarkable! It eases the suffering of the one who is dying. If only everyone could do this in reality, death would not be so heartless. Fantastic expression of someone ready to die, you did a splendid job on this one.
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Valsa George 21 May 2014
Beautiful acceptance with calm resignation....! 'The width of my room - twelve lovely dresses, The height of my sky is a bluebird’s flight, The depth of my ocean just one deep breath, But vision’s boundaries are my mind’s sight'........ Beautiful lines which have so much depth like the depth of the ocean! Enjoyed reading this!
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Brian Johnston 20 May 2014
Ah Pradip, even the young girl in my poem is weeping up to the moment of her death! How can anyone who feels the vagaries of life not weep. Didn't you ever wonder where all the salt water in the ocean comes from? There are many who weep with us! Cheer up! : -)
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Akhtar Jawad 20 May 2014
Let your gentle hearts be my protection……… Oh God….! You’re here! My tears feel just like rain..... The entire poem is beauty but I particularly liked the last two lines...
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this first broke my heart, then lifted my spirit. tell me Brian when I could cease to weep.
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Yash Shinde 20 May 2014
: '-( At least you don't turn my nightmares to reality. This is overflowing with passion! The reason for which is really simple; death is an inevitable end, every mortal has to face, and thus we all are somehow connected and similar to each other in aspects like death. The feelings you have for nature, your city, may just be like a diary entry, but topics like love and death is something that is common among us all, and everyone does feel pain and anxiety! No doubt truth is difficult to accept! Don't you think these dark tales turn my nightmares to reality? I almost broke into tears, when I heard about your death in my vision. Don't intensify the pain even more......... Dear passionate writer, don't let us waste our time shedding tears, let's cherish these moments! I don't know, if I'll be able to meet you ever in life's dire course, but you aren't like other travelers, whom I have encountered in my way. Your write will stay forever, somewhere in the nerves of my brain, but owing to my weaknesses, I'll carefully cherish in my fav poems list..... You know I can't stop crying! ~Your well-wisher, buddy, teacher, student, philosopher and above all your friend........... ~Y.S,
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