Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Ph: Prayer: Death: Acceptance Accepted
Rating: ★4.9
She prayed, 'Oh now I lay me down to sleep...'
Though these familiar words scarce passed her lips,
She sighed, 'I pray the Lord my soul to take.'
Embraced God's poem of lunar eclipse.
She thought, 'My room's width - twelve lovely dresses,
The height of my sky is a bluebird's flight,
The depth of my ocean just one deep breath,
But vision's boundaries are my mind's sight.'
'Let me welcome my death as I have life,
Knowing where I am is where I belong,
Say farewell to my soul's earthly temple,
My music yield to a heavenly song.'
'Loved ones…! Please don't shower me with flowers,
Or let me die with senses dulled to pain,
See your gentle hearts are my protection………
Oh God….! You're here! My tears feel just like rain ^^^ ^^ ^ ^! '
Brian Johnston
Topic(s) of this poem: Death
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
Brian Johnston
May 20,2014
If you would like to give this poems a rating, please do so in a comment that is separate from your regular comment if you leave one. Many poets, including myself, have been experiencing visits from hard to identify PH members who like to damage other's poem's ratings with illegal multiple votes of 1.0 and make a mockery out of normal voting. You voting in a comment field helps me to protect your rating of my poem which they wish to destroy. I know that this is a bit of extra work for you, but believe me it is appreciated.
Poet's Notes:
I have done this before, projected my feelings onto a feminine avatar to give myself emotional distance from what I actually feel myself but lack the courage to claim in my own voice. I suspect however that most can see through this artifice.
My apologies to readers for using the '^' symbol instead of the much more subtle '.' to simulate the girl's fading heartbeat and death. The PoemHunter editor / word-processor is a constant frustration to those of us who wish to not only write poems but to sculpt our work as well. Even the use of double quotes is denied. But don't hold your breath waiting for these changes. The problems of this site are legend and PH's response to ideas for improvement close to neanderthal. Still all in all it is a wonderful site and definitely gets at least an 8.0 from me (though customer support is barely passing!)
If money is all that is lacking, I wonder why PH doesn't ask members to make cash donations to support various improvements to the site. I know that I would contribute, wouldn't you?
Special thanks also to the poet Lora Colon for her suggestion that the poem would be better if the fact that the speaker was a dying young girl was made clear earlier in the poem. This addition also let me sneak in the idea of death being like a lunar eclipse which I love a lot...