Brian Johnston

Gold Star - 15,036 Points (Jan.20,1943 / Oklahoma)

A C P C - 2015/03 New Challenge Poem/Title Contest - Vote Here - Poem by Brian Johnston

TO VOTE: SIMPLY ADD A COMMENT ONTO THE END OF THIS 'CONTEST COMPILATION OF ENTRIES.

Choose the poem you like best and if you would be so kind give all the gladiators who entered the arena some feedback as to why you either liked or did not like their entry. The reasons why you chose your winning title would also be appreciated. Enjoy!


###################################NEW CHALLENGE POEM/TITLE CONTEST
- - - - -TITLE FOR MARCH 2015- - - -
###################################

The March contest will again take place on my site. Other poet's who are interested in hosting this ongoing PoemHunter contest please let me know. The new title for this month is to write a poem introducing yourself, an Echo/Response Poem to John Westlake's Poem 'HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE ME' which along with my own response as the first published competing poem is my take on what I am looking for, though PH members themselves will of course be the final judges of the contest entries.

NOTE: Participation in this contest does not necessarily mean that you have permission to publish both John's and your poem together on your own site. Permission to do this will be granted by John only on an individual basis. Participation in this contest does not grant you that right automatically. Thanks for understanding.


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What is an Echo Poem?
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Originally I thought of an echo poem as being a poem that represents a change of perspective on another author's work. The original author releases a poem into the world and the world echoes it back with some changes, perhaps gently critical or even subtly supportive of the original poet. As with a real echo there may be some lost words that change the meaning, the echo poem may be colored by the personality and philosophy of the new poet as well, but the subject should stay pretty much the same.

I am publishing my own response to John Westlake's poem here as an example of my personal take on an echo poem. This months contest requires not only a poem written by you with its own title but a title for the new Echo poem that results if you use that format as well. Don't forget the new title with any Echo Poem entry.

Previous rules published will be adhered to. Only one entry per poet unless you co-author a poem with another poet. In such a case the major and minor roles must be clearly discussed in poet's notes.

Any poem received before midnight on March 31,2015 will be considered a valid entry. Late entries may be posted but no votes for them will be counted.


############################# ####
POEM TO BE ECHOED/RESPONDED TO
#################################

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE ME

People often say to me
“What can you tell me about yourself”
guess it’s my duty to explain to them
and so I look them in the face and reply

My eyes are deep like two tiny oceans
just be careful you don’t drown in them
you’ll never reach the bottom
and there’s not a beach in sight

My arms and legs are a library
ruined by several scars
each one tells its own story
of how it came to be
but none can be bothered to read it

My mind is a battle field
full of the tangled wreckage of ancient conflicts
parts of it are like covered with mines
each one a painful memory
every now and then a fresh war will start
bringing new carnage and suffering
the remains they leave are left to rot in the sun
only to be consigned to the past

My personality is a broadsword
razor sharp and straight to the point
it only can be wielded by me
the blade is often glowing
letting you know how genuine I am

My honesty is a radiant beacon
shining like a miniature sun
it helps my truth stay pure through this life
never dimming or even going out

My truth is a shotgun
let me give you both barrels
a useful weapon in this life of deception
because I have no space for lies or cheating
no bull trash will ever stand in for it

My patience is a tranquil lake
surrounded by many beautiful trees
every tree is in full bloom in a variety of colours
yet when the leaves and petals fall
they make not even a ripple on the water
there's always time in this peaceful place
and none of it can be wasted by those who deserve it

Yet my temper is a volcano
often smoking as a warning to others
sometimes it will blow its top for a while
but its often short lived unless the lava runs
in which case be somewhere else

My happiness is a meadow on a summer’s day
full of millions of flowers
each one living in harmony
the stems bowing slightly in the gentle breeze

My love is like a huge blanket
soft and comforting to those who feel it
let me wrap it round your shoulders
and it will keep you safe and warm

My loyalty is a lovable dog
always faithful always there
as long as you stay true it'll love you
but it will turn on you if you abuse it

I have described myself as best I can
now you know a little about me
it’s time for the favour to be returned
what will you tell me about you

John Westlake
April 11,2014


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Competition Poems Begin Here
##########################

ASKED AND ANSWERED
An Echo Poem by John Westlake and Brian Johnston

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE ME by John Westlake
[Text of John's Poem]

WHO I AM - An Echo Poem by Brian Johnston

I wish I could be clearer too
But when a mirror comes to view
I find reflections blur the tons
Of promises I've yet to keep.
The virtues to which I aspire
Just kindling in God's cleansing fire
A testament to what I've spent
In daytime dreams before I sleep.

At times my eyes are shallower
Than tadpole bog from summer shower
But there’s a depth in self-less mirth
That fathoms ocean’s honesty!
I have my scars and injuries
Reminders that I sometime please
With sad stories and past glories
For which there is no amnesty.

I don’t take pride in vanquished foes
Or stealthy night walks on my toes,
The charges led, the grateful dead,
Aren’t bullet marked on résumé.
Yes, memories of past wars hurt
And new one's benefits seem curt,
The battles won, the killing done
And winning joy's naiveté.

In personality a spark
Of servanthood, like Noah’s ark,
Yet to serve God, His judgment odd,
World lost to save humanity.
And honestly how can this stand,
This horrifying reprimand
Where saints all fail and demons wail,
Is Justice too insanity?

But Bible’s truth is Parable
And God’s Love not unbearable
Though we may fret, bemoan our debt,
God's Justice earned, but Grace God’s gift.
Though truth may not be found in me
In loving God I can be free,
My sails are full, sin’s lost its pull,
My restless heart no more adrift.

Direction comes with good intent,
And peace the fruit of time well spent,
Green pastures call, demand my all,
My patience ripples on a lake.
For service is a restful noise,
Like one the wind in leaves employs
Ripples caress, service redress
Wounds of a soul lost on the take.

Sure I’ve a temper, hear me roar,
But keep your gun locked in its drawer
My passions vent, my anger spent,
I’ll soon be sleeping like dead tree.
My happiness the world of Pooh
With flowers that are meant for two,
Or three or four, open the door,
Here friendship has no enemy!

My love a cloud embracing all
Its form envelopes like a shawl,
With scent of earth, infusing worth,
Dew drops condensing on a rose.
I’m loyal like no one you’ve seen,
Like color in an evergreen,
Put doubt aside, embrace the pride
Of emperor without his clothes.

I’ve tried to do sir what you asked
But you did set me quite a task
Hope that you see, something of me,
In my poor effort at this verse.
And now as I am close to done,
I swear it’s been a lot of fun,
Though poetry’s not rocketry,
Well, hell, my friend, it could be worse!

Brian Johnston
March 3,2015

Poet's Notes:
With John's permission I am now able to use his original poem as the poem to be echoed by everyone which means I get to enter my poem now too. What fun!

_______________________________________

JOHN & ME<<<<<An Multiple Echo Poem by John Westlake and Bri Edwards

Combined and Interlocked Original Poems:
HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE ME by John Westlake
ALL ABOUT ME by Bri Edwards

[[My Friend “P”, aka John Westlake,
has set the bar for me, for goodness sake!
I’ve got poems ‘bout me, Bri, on this site,
but, for an “echo” to John, more I’ll write.]]

J: People often say to me
“What can you tell me about yourself”
guess it’s my duty to explain to them
and so I look them in the face and reply

B: People RARELY say to me
“What can you tell me about yourself”,
but look me in the eye (not for real)
and I’ll now give YOU my reply.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My eyes are deep like two tiny oceans
just be careful you don’t drown in them
you’ll never reach the bottom
and there’s not a beach in sight

B: My eyes are hazel? and, in number,2;
yes, I’ve got two eyes, like most of YOU.
Not much is behind them, so the doctor said;
with NO brain, she thought I should be dead.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My arms and legs are a library
ruined by several scars
each one tells its own story
of how it came to be
but none can be bothered to read it

B: My arms and legs are big and hairy.
When women see them, they think they’re scary.
One leg used to have giant varicose veins;
they’re gone now, though they caused no pains.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My mind is a battle field
full of the tangled wreckage of ancient conflicts
parts of it are like covered with mines
each one a painful memory
every now and then a fresh war will start
bringing new carnage and suffering
the remains they leave are left to rot in the sun
only to be consigned to the past

B: Unlike the Englishman, Profanisaurus,
(J’s alias) , in life I guess I’ve been victorious.
Sure I’ve had my share of wars in my life;
most all have been with my poor wife.
“Wives” I should say, as from 3 I’ve resigned;
Those 3, to my past, I’ve now consigned.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My personality is a broadsword
razor sharp and straight to the point
it only can be wielded by me
the blade is often glowing
letting you know how genuine I am

B: My personality, if I may call it mine,
is a bit rusty, and sometimes bitter like too-old wine.
NO! I’m kidding now. I’ll match John tit for tat.
Tell me, Readers, what do you think of that? !
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My honesty is a radiant beacon
shining like a miniature sun
it helps my truth stay pure through this life
never dimming or even going out

B: I too am honest, though at times I tell a fib;
if I didn’t, my wife would poke me (MORE) in my rib.
There have been a few times, though very few,
when a fib (or omission) helps to see one through….
the day!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My truth is a shotgun
let me give you both barrels
a useful weapon in this life of deception
because I have no space for lies or cheating
no bull trash will ever stand in for it

B: Truth be told, some of my poem is a lie.
I tell the truth usually, but I’m a weak guy.
It is sometimes hard to be funny with the truth,
so I might twist Truth, like a dentist twists a Tooth.
[I hope YOU don’t think “less of me”]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My patience is a tranquil lake
surrounded by many beautiful trees
every tree is in full bloom in a variety of colours
yet when the leaves and petals fall
they make not even a ripple on the water
there's always time in this peaceful place
and none of it can be wasted by those who deserve it

B: John’s first line, like his name, ends with “lake”;
with his poems he sometimes “great pains” does take!
I’ve got patience galore; my wife doesn’t agree.
But MY patience is stout like a great big oak tree! ,
[surrounded by water, which soaks my poor roots,
and causes poor growth for my leaves and shoots.]
Away from home, my patience is much, much better!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: Yet my temper is a volcano
often smoking as a warning to others
sometimes it will blow its top for a while
but its often short lived unless the lava runs
in which case be somewhere else

B: My temper also can sometimes erupt,
but, with lava, our home, I rarely disrupt.
Ok! Don’t ask my “home boss”. Don’t you dare!
Or after you DO, she’ll pull my hair! OR worse! !
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My happiness is a meadow on a summer’s day
full of millions of flowers
each one living in harmony
the stems bowing slightly in the gentle breeze

B: I never use “happiness” to refer to me,
but I’m pretty darn “content”; can’t YOU see?
Flowers are pretty and smell so yummy, but
from them come bees which sting my tummy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My love is like a huge blanket
soft and comforting to those who feel it
let me wrap it round your shoulders
and it will keep you safe and warm

B: I’ve given love to many a gal, but
to be “returned in kind” does sometimes fail.
My love comes in four distinct varieties:
“wives”, “mom”, “daughter”, and “pizza-with-cheese”.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: My loyalty is a lovable dog
always faithful always there
as long as you stay true it'll love you
but it will turn on you if you abuse it

B: John’s got the right idea of loyalty,
whether it be to a pet or to royalty.
I’ll gladly continue to be a good friend,
until YOU ignore me! Then my loyalty must end.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

J: I have described myself as best I can
now you know a little about me
it’s time for the favour to be returned
what will you tell me about you

B: Well, John’s poem was nice; they usually are.
High, for MY poem, was where HE “set the bar”.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little Bri-fun romp;
please don’t (on my “echo”) too harshly stomp.

(March 2015)

_______________________________________

THIS IS HOW WE THINK
An Echo Poem by John Westlake and Diane Hine

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE ME by John Westlake
[Text of John's Poem]

WHICH REMINDS ME - An Echo Poem by Diane Hine

Curiosity is fossicking on Mars. Doctors ordered rest
after February’s little spill (of current) but it’s doing
okay now. Curiosity’s sucky percussion drill assays
bits of Mars in a buzz-boing-sniff-slurp kind of way.
Which reminds me…

In 1972, I was sorting mail in Stoneville’s stamp-
sized post office/general store, and watching a bee
and a blowfly trying to exit through the storefront
window. Boing boing boing boing they went without
knocking themselves out, and buzz buzz buzz buzz,
trying to drill themselves out. They paused now and
then, to probe the solid air under their feet with tiny
probing bits – sniff sniff, or suck it up – slurp slurp.
I wondered which one would dehydrate first. Then
I saw the nice hippy couple (Stoneville’s only hippies)
watching the bee and the blowfly from outside. They
came in, so I found their mail, but they hadn’t come
for that. They fossicked in their fringed bags until
they found what they needed: a little container and
a slip of paper. Ever so gently, they rescued the bee.
While they were releasing the hippy happy bee
outside (what a trippy tale it would tail-waggle back
at the hive) , I swatted the blowfly with their mail. Bye
bye blowfly; some bugs get saved, some get swatted,
some desiccate on windowsills, some serendipitously
bounce through open windows. Lots of them try to
hammer-drill their way through solid glass. They’re
either dumb, or abreast with quantum tunnelling.
Bye bye blowfly, I dug your groovy gyroscopes; you
were prettier than a pale blue aerogram. Bye bye
aerogram too; emails are flightier than you.
Which reminds me…

someone I hadn’t heard from in years sent me an
email the other day. I tried to guess what it would
say but, I didn’t even know what I wanted it to say.
Rare emails are astonishing, like memos from Mars.
Far out Curiosity, I dig your sucky drill. What will you
find? We don’t mind. How about a way out riddle?

(March 29,2015)


_________________________________________ _



EVERYTHING IS A MYSTERY TO ME
An Echo Poem by John Westlake and Abekah Emmanuel

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE ME by John Westlake
[Text of John's Poem]

I AM WHO YOU THINK I AM - An Echo Poem by Abekah Emannuel

Having spent years with the chalk and the cane,
I have grown to understand the simplicity
As well as the complexity of human lives,
The blessings we enjoy and the mysterious bane.

Whenever I try to comprehend the actions
And the inactions of people far and close to me,
I always ask who they are, and wonder
What motivates them to in certain ways function.

But in that quest to know them and what they
Actually stand for; I pose to myself the same questions
But always sweats profusely with no definite answer.
So you see, we all might have been born from one vein.

Now you are asking me to describe who I am,
But frankly, this is a huge and cumbersome task
And so will let time to reveal that to you for
I am tempted to say things that will delight your heart.

If I should tell you something about my mind,
I may be tempted to say all kinds of things,
Which I cannot be certain of it myself, for I am quite
Uncertain if such a thing even I can find.

So now you see why I have difficulties describing myself,
I am ignorant of what forms the basis of my decisions
At one time, this becomes good that becomes bad
And in all these I learn from and keep in my life’s shelf.

And so for now, whatever you think about me
Can either be true or false, or even both, therefore,
I partially depend on you to know myself at times,
And so just tell your friend: I am who you think I am.


__________________________________ __________
END OF COMPETITION POEMS (TOTAL 4)

Topic(s) of this poem: poetry


Comments about A C P C - 2015/03 New Challenge Poem/Title Contest - Vote Here by Brian Johnston

  • Bri Edwards (4/14/2015 8:58:00 PM)


    well, as i count it................. Abekah Emmanuel got one vote and Brian Johnston got two (even though he doesn't seem to have voted) ..

    As BJ's habit has been to end the voting at the end of the 12th of the month, i am UNofficially declaring Brian Johnston the winner. once he wakes up, we can have the party! :) bri
    (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Abekah Emmanuel (4/12/2015 12:58:00 AM)


    My vote, having read all the great entries for this contest, goes to......................................Brian Johnston, commissioner Of Elections. (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/6/2015 9:56:00 PM)


    i VOTEd FOR........................BRIAN JOHNSTON, but the vote hasn't shown up here yet! so while you're waiting, let me say more! i believe that Brian followed the instructions [he gave us for writing an echo poem] better than the rest of us, including (perhaps) me. also, the more times i read his poem, the more i was comfortable with the complex (to me) way it was worded at times. the rhyming is admirable, and i even understood (parts of) it! ! ! !

    if i would/could just read it through, not caring about........... what it means, or if i knew all the words, or if the grammar was as i would do it..............., i believe it would sound MARVELOUS!
    i believe i've already sent the whole ACPC page to MyPoemList already, but i'll go through the drill, just to make sure; maybe by then, my vote will show up! ! ! bri ;)
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/6/2015 7:39:00 PM)


    my VOTE: goes [somewhat reluctantly; i have TOO MANY awards already in MY trophy case! ] to............................
    ..........................................
    ......................................... MR. BRIAN JOHNSTON.

    bri :) [see my comments on each poem, except my own poem, .................. below in other comment areas.]
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/6/2015 7:37:00 PM)


    WELL, AS for Abekah's responsive comment, previous to this one:

    Im glad to say i am NOT Editor-in-Chief, as that is Brian Johnston's job. i DID take over for him (was it for 1 or 2 months? ?) , and i may lend a hand again if he asks (politely AND sends me lots of Dr. Pepper, pizza, AND ice cream!) .
    bri :)
    (Report) Reply

  • Abekah Emmanuel (4/6/2015 5:43:00 PM)


    Thank you very much Editor-in-Chief Bri Edwards, am grateful for your scholarly comment. To my dear Diane, I am grateful for your vote. Thanks all of you! (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/5/2015 10:12:00 PM)


    COMMENT ON ABEKAH EMMANUEL’S POEM:

    “cane/bane” ……………. good rhyme, but I need(ed) help with both words.
    “bane” …………I looked up and found “a cause of great distress or annoyance”. ok, that fits.
    “cane” ……. just guessing here………. chalk and cane=articles found in schools there? cane=stick used to punish students by hitting? ?

    after reading 3 stanzas, I’m liking this, though it doesn’t seem to echo John’s ….yet. well, more so, perhaps, than Diane’s poem did. I’d use “sweat”, not “sweats”.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    “Now you are asking me to describe who I am,
    But frankly, this is a huge and cumbersome task
    And so will let time to reveal that to you for
    I am tempted to say things that will delight your heart.”

    ABEKAH, I LIKE that you did not force yourself to do something which you may feel uncomfortable doing: echoing a poem just because “that” was BJ’s ‘assignment’. and of course, you are SO YOUNG compared to the rest of us entrants! you obviously don’t know how to describe who you are, because YOU are still growing-evolving while we other 3 poets (DON’T tell Diane I said this) are just “growing older”! if I count John (who certainly deserves to be mentioned, since without him none of us would have an echo poem! ! !) , there are 4 other poets; John is not nearly as old as the others, though he is significantly older than you are!

    yes! “get a little time under your belt”. AND certainly don’t describe yourself in terms just to ingratiate yourself to us. [I don’t think I’ve EVER used the word “ingratiate”; it just popped into my head………….., but I checked the definition and I like it here.]

    I like the repeating of the title at the close of the poem. BUT …………DO (please) WRITE “WHO I AM”, in time, when you’ve figured yourself out, if you ever do, and send me an autographed copy. thanks. :)
    bri :)


    p.s. “born from one vein”. I like it. I watched a PBS video a while ago, in which a geneticist ‘took the viewers’ from Africa to Asia, to Australia, to Europe, taking blood samples from people there and later discussing the conclusions derived from the presence of genetic markers(?) in the blood samples of some of the donors. He (and others I suppose) concluded that the first humans lived in Africa, almost became extinct, some migrated (over a period of years) to the Middle East, to India, to Australia (largely on land, some of which is under water now) , and some ended up in China/Siberia regions. some went to Europe, and some crossed on a now-underwater land or land/ice bridge to North America. SO YOU SEE, my PH friend, YOU and the rest of us may truly have been “born from one vein”.

    ok……….p.p.s. Upon glancing at your poem again, it struck me as extremely odd that you would write that you “have difficulties describing myself”, YET …………. you DID state this:

    “I have grown to understand the simplicity
    As well as the complexity of human lives,
    The blessings we enjoy and the mysterious bane.”

    I rather think you ‘want to say’:
    “I have grown to understand that there IS simplicity
    as well as complexity in human lives,
    and understand that there ARE blessings as well as mysterious bane”

    thanks to all participants, even Brian! I mean ESPECIALLY Brian! ! !
    (Report) Reply

  • Diane Hine (4/5/2015 7:24:00 PM)


    I admire Brian's proficiency, and enjoy Bri's humour, but the winning line for me was 'I am who you think I am', because other people often know us better than we know ourselves. I vote for Abekah Emannuel. (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/3/2015 11:43:00 PM)


    COMMENT ON DIANE HINE’S POEM:

    FOSSICKING? ? (is that a pornographic word; I MUST research it)
    “fos·sick
    ˈfäsik/
    verb
    Australian/New Zealandinformal
    gerund or present participle: fossicking

    rummage; search.

    he spent years fossicking through documents
    o search for gold in abandoned workings.
    ok, we’ll allow it!

    But it took me a while to figure out “what you meant” by “Curiosity”, especially when you used it two times at the starts of a sentences, where it typically would be capitalized, even if not a “proper name” ……………of a ‘dune buggy’.

    concept ships: Curiosity lands on Mars!

    “buzz-boing-sniff-slurp” ……boring? bong? OH! THAT “boing! ” I must need more pizza; I didn’t get it at first (the “boing” I mean) .

    Favorite lines:

    “then to probe the solid air under their feet with tiny
    probing bits – sniff sniff, or suck it up – slurp slurp.”

    and

    “outside (what a trippy tale it would tail-waggle back
    at the hive) , I swatted the blowfly with their mail. Bye
    bye blowfly; some bugs get saved, some get swatted, ”

    [As is typical, in my limited experience with Diane’s poems, this poem (so far; not finished reading yet) is clever as well as scientific! it really helps to be SOMEWHAT educated to understand some of them! ]
    “way out riddle”? are you talking ‘hippy talk’ NOW? or are we talking “way out in space” riddle? ?
    So, the postal service in Australia is probably falling on ‘hard times’, as is my alma mater (so to speak; 26+ years of faithful service from me) the USPS. Emails are great, but I pity the loss of jobs it has created while it undoubtedly had created some others!
    and I see that Diane, like my “home boss” (and me to a more limited extent) spares certain “bugs” while exterminating (mercilessly) others. how do you treat spiders, m’lady? ?

    another fine poem, which DOES HELP TO DESCRIBE YOU. but it may not be quite what Brian (or I) have in our minds as an “echo poem”. perhaps this will work to Brian’s benefit in the grand competition? ? ?

    nice, Diane. :) bri
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/3/2015 9:17:00 PM)


    it seems i accidentally have submitted comment on J.W.s poem twice. i have submitted a comment on B.J.'s echo, but i don't see it yet.
    : ( bri
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/3/2015 9:13:00 PM)


    COMMENT ON BRIAN JOHNSTON’S ECHO:

    ok, I see the effort to echo. that’s good!

    In John’s stanza 4 (four) he mentions “conflicts” and “war”. In Brian’s echo he mentions “vanquished foes”, “wars”, and “battles”. fine so far. BUT Brian writes …….
    “I don’t take pride in vanquished foes”. I’m (pretty) sure John has had physical fights and for “just cause” has injured some flesh-and-blood people, BUT I don’t think those are the kind of conflicts he is referring to in his poem. YET I do believe that Brian (at least to me) makes it sound as though his vanquished “foes” were human. am I wrong? IF the “foes” were other mishaps/impediments in your life which were standing in his way to a decent “better” life, wouldn’t YOU be justified in being “proud”………… in a sense? BUT, now that I’ve said it, I remind myself that I never feel “proud” in the way most people probably mean the word. so I may be in complete agreement with Brian. Well, there goes more of my busy day!

    “In personality a spark
    Of servanthood, like Noah’s ark,
    Yet to serve God, His judgment odd,
    World lost to save humanity.
    And honestly how can this stand,
    This horrifying reprimand
    Where saints all fail and demons wail,
    Is Justice too insanity? ” …………… nice rhyming and interesting, but I don’t necessarily “follow“ this stsnza.
    “I’m beginning to think that Brian is just barely echoing John’s poem. Brian is making a nice poem, but he is drifting a bit (I think) . He (as is often the case) throws God into his poems and it almost sounds in places as though he (Brian) is saying more about God, than about himself. THEY AREN’T the same being, ARE THEY? ?

    OK, now you are getting the echo think back.

    Yes! You DID use “lake”, “leaves”, and “ripples”. good boy.
    and “shawl” is a nice echo to “blanket”. and it fits you better!

    PLEASE don’t make me look IF you start walking down the street like the Emperor did…..in his ‘birthday suit’!

    MY Favorite lines:

    “At times my eyes are shallower
    Than tadpole bog from summer shower”
    “With sad stories and past glories” …….i’m a sucker for good rhymes!

    “My sails are full, sin’s lost its pull,
    My restless heart no more adrift.”

    “My happiness the world of Pooh
    With flowers that are meant for two,
    Or three or four, open the door,
    Here friendship has no enemy! ”……PRECIOUS! are you writing for Lora? heh-heh or me? or both?

    “I’m loyal like no one you’ve seen,
    Like color in an evergreen, ” ……………………OK! enough, already. nice work, BJ.

    [[ AND I REMEMBERED THAT john w. is not really “in the running” except as he is the author of ½ of each “echo poem”; right? So actually, I don’t really vote for Profanisaurus aka John Westlake without voting for someone else at the same time. right again? ? SOOOOOOOOOO, Brian, you may stand a chance to WIN this thing yet! Far be it from me to vote for myself, EVEN IF MY POEM IS SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHERS! ! ! ]] [BUT I have the last two entries which I have yet to read]

    “I swear it’s been a lot of fun,
    Though poetry’s not rocketry, ” …………not rocketry, but perhaps closer to most PH members’ “hearts”.
    AND I’m glad to report I didn’t notice any typos, including no improper use of or neglect of use of apostrophes! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! did I miss the typos? ? had to be.

    Brian, though going through and commenting on your and John’s poems HAS BEEN FUN, it has wearied me a bit. Time for more refreshments? ? ?

    bri :)
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  • Bri Edwards (4/3/2015 9:10:00 PM)


    JOHN WESTLAKE’S POEM:

    well, how many superlatives are there to use for this poem? I’ll settle for fantastic!

    It is (assuming it is not Fantasy) warm, personal, advisory, clever, illuminating (how’s that for a word?) , refreshing, sweet, forceful, and ……………….loong.
    And Brian’s challenge was excellent (this month; ha ha) . Thanks Profanisaurus aka John, for lending us your words and putting out the challenge for us to reveal ourselves a bit.

    my favorite stanza:

    “Yet my temper is a volcano
    often smoking as a warning to others
    sometimes it will blow its top for a while
    but its often short lived unless the lava runs
    in which case be somewhere else” …………………………….. I love that you started the stanza with “Yet”.

    There are so many parts of it I enjoyed. I’ll just mention two more:

    “My truth is a shotgun
    let me give you both barrels”

    “there's always time in this peaceful place
    and none of it can be wasted by those who deserve it”

    bri :)

    p.s. I've sent the whole ACPC-2015/O3 to MyPoemList. i now REALIZE that [though John's poem is integral to each entrant's poem] John's poem How I Would Describe Me is not, by itself, capable of winning. But John will be a half-winner no matter what!
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (4/3/2015 6:42:00 PM)


    Wow! What a surprise. when i said 3 entries in my last comment, i was including John's original, but of course i was just stretching the truth, feeling it would be unkind to Brian to point out the lack of entries. BUT now i see two more 'entries' and i am looking forward to reading them, THOUGH i thought i could quickly review the poems i'd already read and get back to my pizza and ice cream. fat chance! or should i say less chance of fat?

    1. i just read Profanisaurus's (aka John's) poem again. it can not be topped, CAN IT! ? unless of course the Reader craves humor (in which case, look at mine!) . (i THINK i put some humor in this one)
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (3/31/2015 1:40:00 PM)


    BRIAN, i'm busy, busy, busy, ..............sleeping, eating, more sleeping.......... what's a guy to do? so,3 entries. but you KNOW what they say about quality vs. quantity.

    i'll try to find the time between now and April 12th to reread the poems and perhaps comment more and VOTE! remind me if i'm slow. bri :)
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (3/14/2015 4:46:00 PM)


    Oh boy! i get to write about myself, my favorite subject! bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (3/14/2015 4:46:00 PM)


    ah, YES! Brian is in his element, having FUN! ! ! ! !

    John's (aka Profanisaurus's) is spectacular. let me repeat that: SPECTACULAR! i'll have to read Brian's now, i guess! well, it shouldn't be TOO bad! i repeat: not TOO BAD!

    some day i'll write mine also. can you all wait? probably not. but TRY! bri :)
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Poem Submitted: Monday, March 9, 2015

Poem Edited: Friday, April 3, 2015