Please Hear Me God Poem by Miss Tee

She lies there, and she remembers.
She remembers the sobbing and the relentless pain.
Never will she forget what has been done or how it came to be.
A choice was made: the most difficult one in her life.
For week after week, she questioned and doubted:
Can I make it? Will he be there for me?
Am I ready for this? How will I tell anyone?
I am so scared, I am worried, confused, ashamed, excited, sad.
I just don't know what to do...!
Does he love or care about me the way he claims?
Is HE ready for this change?
Mummy, I wish I can tell you.

A cold surface, three strangers in the room, and loss.
Alone.
She has nightmares;
sometimes waking in the middle of the night with fear in her heart.
Not a day passes by when tears are not shed,
or when emptiness doesn't creeps up on her.

She lies there, and she remembers.
She remembers and cannot help but cry, wail
and even scratch at anything within reach.
Wondering if her prayers will be answered;
if her frustration, anger and pain will ever decease.

Oh Lord, sometimes I wish I could die for what I did to my unborn child.
I wish I could because it might be better than feeling the aftermath.
It's an endless painful monologue:
Oh Lord, how I hate myself...

Don't tell me to move on.
Don't tell me it's my own fault.
I know that dammit - don't need you to tell me at all!

Oh yes, she remembers.
Mummy, I am so sad that I had to go through this.
Oh please; please hear me God.
I have killed something that would have been precious,
and I don't know if I will ever forgive myself.