Poem 002: Away, Distress! Comments

Nice job, 'kid'! I give ***** five stars. ;) bri

'But then I'd imagine' ....I feel like using 'I'll', but I guess 'I'd' is ok. ;) 'raptures obtain' ....I'd like 'raptures I obtain'. AND 'And feel': I'd use 'And I feel'. Thanks for sharing an 'old' poem.

stanza 1: I like your alluring alliterations! Line 7: I've never heard 'cumbered': 'a: to hinder or encumber by being in the way b: to clutter up, BUT I've heard 'encumbered'.

stanza 1: 'A feeling of sore in my heart overwhelms.' I'd use 'A feeling sore in...' or 'A sore feeling in'. But for a teenager, esp. one who MIGHT usually use another language, you did well. ;)

A lovely romantic piece of poetry, well articulated, nicely encapsulated and penned in poetic diction with beautiful rhyme scheme. I like the way you started with the feeling of loneliness and how suddenly, thoughts of Josephene moves in and clears the cloud with pure bliss.