Poetic Definition Of A Contemplative Life Of A Faithful Servant At His Cross-Road Poem by Marie J. Christopher

Lord, I need Your presence now more than ever
I need it for clear thinking, composing, writing, work, prayers.
My heart no longer senses You, but my mind knows that You're always here,
In my heart for You never have left me alone.
Oh, solitude so divine, so sublime!
Through my life I have spent much alone
With You my Lord in our desert called love
Day and might, I escape life to pray.

Crowds do not understand, the vast multitude hate while rejecting friendship
You kept plunging Your sacred image, in their midst
And later on, You suffered Your deepest solitude in Garden of Gethsemane,
Then Your solitude perpetuated in tabernacles at churches,
Most in Eucharistic presence, where love and neglect bitterly fuse
Oh, greatest, most cruel solitude You endure after Communion is coldly received,
No remembrance, no thanks, no reverence,
Solitude for un-thankfulness, ignorance on the greatest Grace received.
All Your friends have scattered, abandoned You;
May I comfort You by offering You to share my loneliness too.

To offer a sacrifice is to feel sorrow and pain
Which can be coated with divine sweetness,
But some time it deepens the pain,
Not unlike sweetness coated with bitterness.
May I now offer You my new tide of distress
So the rainbow of blessing might be seen on earth.
Evil tends to spread and gains ground
But I will fight on, resolutely to bring them healing aureole,
Or victorious wings of light.
May my blue flower of love be crushed to bring graces to some corners of the earth.
May these lamentation offerings be read through the lens of love
To grant them converted hearts, joy and comfort, through reading our poems,
Then in turn they will compose their own,
To lighten all the hearts around them.
Like sun rays brings life; God's Love enlivens;
Now grant Your servant much peace,
Deliver me from anxiety and trifles.
May I seek You out daily,
For I don't know how I can serve in one single instant without loving.
May I now seek You in darkness to discover You in light,
The magnificent light, now not known, shall be
Manifested by Your Grace and my disgraces.
May I meditate on Your darkest hours;
May I love suffering for the love of You,
To transform it to transform others.
May I have courage in suffering,
To bring glory to You.
I know You have loved me much,
But You also want to release Your other children.
But that is why I love You, the Mother of us all.
I already know my pain which You now bear in Your heart.
Day by day I will try to find You in my heart,
To feel Your tenderness and You in mine.
How sweet my life will be amidst all bitterness, which takes one form or another.
I love You Lord that I want to show divine love humanized;
I love You so much that I want to show human love divinized;
I want to be a humble love personified.
You know my heart but You just want me to repeat it
In both joy and suffering.

May I now rest a moment in You.
I would plunge into hell or break stones in arid desert
If such toils bring me close to You.
I would be more than willing to suffer million times more,
To be with You in Your people,
For the value of my works is
Love in oneness.



(The Lord leaves the decision to me, to leave you or not. I don't know what to do. Please pray for me, a fool for love.)