Progress Poem by jkd jkd

it started relatively fast
after i had first seen you
that i was reminded of you
every day, meaning in fact each day
one day it would be just your name
popping up like a neon sign in the dark
the next day a smell would waft by
inexplicably conjuring up some memory
then i would catch the sound of some notes
from a song that expressed my feelings so well
and so on, and so on, and so on
along with those memories,
some warmth around the heart,
putting a smile on my face -
that was a phase of surreal romance
of dreams dreams dreams

then, when our smoothly going conversations
became more difficult, subdued and sparse
because of too many expectations, desires, obstacles,
these daily sensations were spiced with a little pain,
not unpleasant
but still they occured reliably each day
out of the blue, unexpectedly, disturbing me -
that was a phase of regrets, missed chances,
and dreams

i got so used to it
the sensations were like the lover you‘d never be
i lived with them and was sure to die with them
but crooked are the ways of the world -
one day i woke up with the realization
that the day before you had not been with me
and that all of this had started to fade, to blur
that reality had fought its way into me
and that this in the long run and after all
would be a phase of progress.