Rapture-Proof Receptacles Poem by Patti Masterman

Rapture-Proof Receptacles



Worried your in laws could be reanimated to cause more trouble later?
Well worry no more, with Acme's Rapture-Proof Receptacles
Our patented blend of super strong woven steel mesh
Enclosed within our secret acrylic shield reservoir technology
Guarantees nothing will get in- or out- of our Receptacles.

Radiation proof- nothing short of a new cosmic bang can open this baby!
Our guarantee reinforced by various magic spells presided over by Tibetan Monks
For added insurance, we can shoot the Receptacle into space
If after a few million years your long lost relative should be resuscitated
They'll never be able to find their way back to this exact galaxy.

Disclaimer: Warranty limited to but not inclusive of direct divine intervention,
Acts of god, natural catastrophes, encountering of opposition spells,
Any implied promises good only for the estimated lifespan of a normal bubble universe
Not inclusive of the possibility of self destruction of our own planet
In the absence of interference by possibly advanced alien civilizations,
And postulated theories of a reversal of cosmic time and forces at the last instant of time
And/or any pertinent binding covenants of the one true god,
(but don't worry; nobody can ever figure that one out)

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