Recently Poem by Anthony Han

Recently I have realized
The reason I am untrue to my heart
Purposes lying below dishonest
Empowering my self destruction
I wonder where it had all began

Since I arrived at this pinnacle I wondered
Where am I now
Who is with me now?
Why am I not content?

Why do I stand here anoint
Lonely and passively distraught
I left something behind
Days of no sleep drifting on this cursed cloud

The thought bubble pierced
By the single answer deep within
Redrawing a entanglement of circadian
Violet rhythms unparallel to my soul

What is this magnificent stream of colors?
Why do they remind me of some verdant lover?
Did I just say that?
Could that be the end of that?

No I told myself every night
The moon turned its back to me
The sun responded with shame
For shame I was a dull boy

Who now was a dull husk of a man
Tossing my visage into the purple sea below
I scratched my face cheeks scalp
Constantly haunted with a odd faint memory

And that is how I came to her
Within all the arrogance
I found I never explained to myself
I only ran faraway

Scared of the reality
Frightened by my destiny
Intimidated that I was so lucky
But why I ask myself

Who cares what of me
Who dares to think of this
As a sort of staged plan
No no no it must be true

My heart rang out loud
The sun shifted in the setting
Rays descending the clouds refuting
My anger of a demon

Then the moon arrived half spoken
Its mundane reflection revitalizing my conscious
This is who I am
This is why I have lost

Facing it right this part
Of me is the truest shade
Let not others determine
The absolution of this love

And that was when I knew all my faults
Nothing but all my successes
Leading me to this
A cloud of pathways opened across

I walked across the night sky
Searching for my pearl
She's been hurt far too long
And I am at fault

Accept my troubles and refit my double