Regressing Poker Chips Poem by Joshua Mccoy

I bet all my hopes and dreams
And my heart’s entity on the love of another at the cost of one who would sell her heart and soul to the dark red man himself just for the chance of being with me again.
I am such a fool
Used as an outlet sexual tool
For a hopeless fantasy
Unaware of a cruel reality
I greedily bet it all
And lost
The sacrifice of another’s happiness of the heart for my own was made in pure vain
I now hang my head down low in shame for taking a huge leap forward across a crater-sized ravine.
What soured this fresh creamy milk was:
A Chain
A Link
A Title
A Border
A Barrier
An attachment that limited my freedom from loving freely without restraint.

Not to cheat like a player
Nor play like a pimp
Or charge for an hourly rate
To be able to indulge in another in heart pounding, breath taking ways through words and gestures, and sample the pure essence of love from their soul while becoming detached from the limitation of fatigue and float into
Incredible and deeply Immense…
Hot and scorchingly Intense…
Intimacy
For hours without end

A longing dream that bears no real fruit
Only a dream
Only a nameless star among the milky way of uniformity.
Only a night time shadow of the mind that fades when light dawns on the world.
Only a plea from a dying beggar shunned and ignored.
Only a final wish of a terminally ill 7 year old that closes her eyes for the final time.

The chips are down
And from a heavy heart I reveal my hand
Two popular hopefuls happily sulk from the table
The dealer looks on in silence
And leaves fate up to me to create
I turn to the other player who came out in a draw
And lean over to whisper while looking at her receipt
“Will you please take me back? ”