Remembering Father Poem by Dilip Pattanayak

Nspur.6 Feb 1944.
Born to see your father lost,
You made yourself a man
Under the hem of Maa.
Bereft of father's affection
You fought yourself
To stand on your feet.

The shadows of my past
Haunt me again and again.

A regular handsome man
With a royal look
And a regal gait -
Sometimes in snow-white attire;
Sometimes in a black lungi,
Teaching the tender souls;
Making out the facts with
Not once, twice, or thrice,
But several times
Until the simple minds
Grasp the complex ideas fully.

The fruit orchard - bananas,
Guavas, berries, mangoes and papaya -
Looks barren now.
The trees used to bear fruits
With your touch and care;
The pomegranate teeth
Of the small children used to offer you
A million Dollar's smile
When you gave them the fruits away.

On the front veranda
Your serene voice used to echo
The ears of each passer-by - -
Even pigeons and dogs were not unlucky;
So also each beggar and yogi - -
With words of blessings and love,
But now a kind of hollowness
Prevails there on the veranda;
The chair lies empty.

The stage was your life!
Those actions of yours
Still make people be tearful- -
Now the screens are moth-eaten;
Snakes inhabit the stage.

You used to sit regally in the panch,
Everyone heed you with trust -
No injustice would be done to them -
But now they are undone, clueless.

That was you, Father!

Nspur.20 March 2012.
You left us orphans!
More orphan became I
And you knew the reason.

A stubborn aggressive child was I,
Under your umbrella I grew
To dream a world beautiful -
Of truth, honesty and virtues -
But I discovered to my awe
That I fell into the abyss
Of an ugly world, once
I left your watching eyes;
When I tried to seek your help
You had left me forever!

Tears have dried up in my eyes,
But my heart yearns
For your serene voice,
For the royal look of yours,
For the fatherly restrictions
On my unbridled ways of life.

I can't forget your last words -
I won't live for long -
I can't forget my unnatural reaction
To these words of yours.
I can't forget your last look,
Standing at the doorstep
Full of so much kindness
Extending the forgiveness
To this ignorant son of yours.

Bless me. Forgive me. Scold me. Curse me …
I wish to be your son
Again in my next birth, because
You are my IMMORTAL FATHER!