Ray Mesa

Rookie (5/17/89 / Grand Forks)

Rose Oil - Poem by Ray Mesa

Blood is red
Veins are blue
I haven't felt worse
Since I met you
If I held the barrel
And loaded the gun
I'd shine like a moral
And I'd burn the sun
Oh God’s eyes are red
And his pupils are blue
I can't stand in one place
Since I met you
I wish I could scream
I want to dream
If only I was enough of me
Instead of so much of you
Teenage Immure, Again free
Again I am Again
I am again skipped
Swallowing Sweet Sin
Watch her record flip
It's a diamond, it’s a rock
It's all so sudden, you can't believe my shock
Oh the way you laugh, the way it mocks
My very own existence

You can't get back your first kiss
It's a damn shame
There is no Remote control for bliss
No Default Dame
That day is never returned
Like ticket stubs and anniversary rings
So let it hang, Let it turn
Rub your wound and heal your stings

'The unreasonable fury of a beast'
'Unseemly woman in a seeming man'
Shakespeare can't even explain
The feelings I feel and the arms I stain
I’m so worthless
I’m so damn plain
But my life isn’t worse
So I shouldn’t complain
Oh the refrain
Oh the strings
God this pain
God the bells ring

I’m suffering inside
My tears reek of rose oil
Nowhere to hide
No way to escape the recoil
I’m stuck in a hole
With no place to go
Stuck in my own trap

The lump in my throat
The one in my head
Sudden excuse, a moment to choke
God I can’t wait to die and just be dead

A cat scratches a door
A molding sandwich in the corner of a room
She is worse, she wants more
Sudden excuse, a moment away from doom.
Oh god the aftermath
Of kissing a whore
Oh poor little cat
You have no home

We sit on the same bus seat
We never look at each other
I announce defeat
I announce that I won’t bother

She shines like a star
She cries in a field of her own filth
She walks, because she can’t afford a car
She’s a rebel; she calls her skirt a kilt
She doesn’t know when she is going to die
She doesn’t know she could have been mine
Oh but I know
I know

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Poem Submitted: Monday, May 8, 2006

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