Ruby Poem by Micron

Ruby a heart pulsing blood red jewel
Who sometimes to others would seem so very cruel
Other daughters would have flown the nest
But with my unconditional love I gave my best
I understand now why you wrapped me in love too tight
To try protect me from life badness and any fright
You smothered me in a padded, bubble wrap cage
Although on times silently inside I did rage
Contact with my peers you seemed to prevent
And no one stayed long they always went
My dad and I waited on your every request
Whatever was needed we tried our best
All I longed for is to once make you proud
Though I never once dared say it out loud
You took over completely controlled our lives
Words cut deep in my heart as invisible knives
For most of my life I remember you being ill
And each day you swallowed endless pill
I watched and hurt as illnesses got worse
They grew as did constant pain your curse
Sickness seemed to take over your being
Enveloping your thinking and seeing
Eventually our existence we hardly knew
But I jumped through loops because I love you
I remember when small playing and walks by the sea
And times spent laughing and joking you and me
But slowly it sort of just fizzled and disappeared
I don’t remember you ever laughing in recent years
I regret the last few years I’d started to rebel
Glimpsing some freedom from the constant hell
This didn’t mean I loved you any the less
I’m really sorry if I acted wrongly was a pest
I tried your illness and comments to ignore
Guilt ridden as I tried but my heart and soul tore
Then as the end came so quickly near
And you were in hospital so ill and I fear
That the suffering oh did so much increase
For days you cried out in pain just begging for release
Take me to the light open the door you cried
In between asking God to take you- you were really tired
Then eventually he answered when you were alone asleep
He took you, my heart and soul bled, silently began to weep
I’m oh so confused still in my head
There’s so much we both really should have said
I love you so deeply mum you were my only true friend
Whatever happened I was there for you till the end
Even though the cage door is now open wide
I really find it hard in the cage not to stay inside
To do some things that others find easy
Really makes me feel oh so uneasy
And now I have to try to be very strong
For dad your soul mate together you belong
We will forever miss you each and every day
And you will always be in my heart soul mind to stay.