Russian Roulett Under A False Pretennse Poem by bryan mahoney

Russian Roulett Under A False Pretennse

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last night i put the gun to my head
let off just one shot
fell backwords onto my bed
no more drama everything stops
i lay motionless in my own sorrow
as my heart and soul leaks out
im the boy who always saw tommorow
said everything would always turn around
im a liar who shows no remorse
my life means nothing just a waste of time
at somepoint i veared off coarse
they'd find me guilty if emptieness was a crime
do you swear to tell truth the whole truth nothing but the truth
i say yes but i never have or ever will mean a word
imature in my own youth
the bottom of bottles tell me what just occured
i step outside and squint my eyes toward the sun
its funny how this dosent make any sense
well this is what happins after a bottle of rum and a bb gun
its called russian roulett under a false pretennse

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Herbert Nehrlich1 31 July 2007

The title of this poem attracted me. Perhaps the spelling of 'pretennse' caught my eye. Now to the poem itself: Fifteen spelling errors (no, not typographical errors due to haste) , no less. I suggest you commence a long course of reading poems, actual poems to begin with. Follow this (or phase in) by taking a few basic courses in English. Most community colleges will have room for another student and they may not require an entrance examination. They say every journey starts with the first step. In your case you are getting close to that first step. Be an optimist. But leave those supporters of yours, you know, the ones who comment on your 'work' within minutes after it being posted, in the closet. Amicalement..........

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Audrey Stephenson 30 July 2007

Very creative. It was very powerful... I enjoyed it.

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Ying Escalona 30 July 2007

ohhhh..i thought it will end in the final rest.in the point of no return....thanks..it's just a spirit of alcoholic bottle..and an empty catridge...long live bryan..nice work

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