Sean And Paddy Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Two fellows penniless but starved
went to a pub where someone carved
thick slices from a roasted sheep
it smelled so good they both did weep.

We 'ave no money, said Big Paddy,
we ought to see my grand old daddy
because no pub will serve us food
and I am really in no mood

to stand and watch those people smack,
I think I'll have a spazz attack.
No, Sean, said Paddy, just watch me
we'll get to eat all food for free,

and so they sat and ordered some
and as a chaser drank dark rum.
Sean then was told to place into
his fly a sausage, this in lieu

of his own member, Paddy would
bite into it soon as he could.
And so they did, the barman saw
the two, with sausage in the raw.

He ordered them evicted then
by bouncers, two huge Irishmen.
They did repeat this show again
in pubs across the town, 'till ten.

Said Sean, hey Paddy this is great
you take a sausage, chew it mate,
and free is all the food in town
I'm full now, can't get more stuff down.

Said Paddy, this is one hard task
I wonder though, you did not ask,
or struggle, did you like it then?
Do you like women or us men?

You see, the sausage, it dropped off
right after we ate stroganoff,
that was the second pub tonight
Hey, Sean my boy, you feelin' right?