Searching For The Pearl Poem by Maria Barbara Korynt

God...

You are so far but close.
You can see everything, you know what I feel.
So why I don't comprehend my fate,
Of the ones what are advising me and of the ones,
With whom I am indifferent?
I don't often understand myself.
Why I cannot find the pearl
which I lost, somewhere I put away.
And perhaps it appeared to me, that for a moment
I had already had it?
After all I love this way living.

Why so?