Silent Alarm Poem by Adrian Carrillo

its funny...my dreams
they're never what they seem.
they're never as serene
or come close to in between
what i want or what i need

someone's always there
a silouhette in the air
but i never know who
i could never catch her face
though i always feel her grace
changing the mood of the place
in my head and in my heart

she feels good in my arms
protecting me from harm
she's the perfect, silent alarm
i've been alive for...

no matter who i'm with
no matter how well the puzzle piece fits
i eventually come out sick...

sick of fear sick of loathing
sick of silence sick of roaming
sick of trying sick of guessing
sick of messing.....up....
all i can do is look up

these visions are never clear
like a thunderstorm i fear
that this ringing in my ear
will justify the myths...
that out there somewhere

she's thinking of me too
though we all know the truth
that im a washed up, worn down,
reclused ruse