Crystal Carpenter

Silent Screams


As I smile
My heart and head
Are screaming
Singing a song of hopelessness
Lost in a world that's not mine
Losing my grip on
What I thought was real
I'm falling
Into an endless black pit of hell
As I fall
The little bit of light is quickly fading
The screams becoming even louder
It seems the end is even further
I begin to say why bother?
Let me be
And watch me fall
But know
That it's all because of you
Just look at me once
And tell me you can't see
The difference between you and me
So I plead
And I scream
Just let me be
And see in the end
I'll rise above it
I want you to know
Pushing me is bull****
You know it makes me
Want it more than
You could imagine
So just shut up
Get in the back seat
And shut it
Watch me drive
As I watch your eyes get wide
With surprise
Because you thought you knew me
But in the end you didn't know
Anything about me
Yeah you cared
But you weren't there
So how were you to know
So really did you care then
I bet you don't know
Where I've been
So I say it again
Shut up
Get in the back seat
Shut it
Watch me drive for a while
Let the car sit in idle
And maybe you can
Set your eyes on
A piece of me
You missed out on
Do the world a favor
Shut your pie hole
Quit letting the hot air
Fall from your lips
'Cause it's just making
The room a little hotter
If it was up to me
I'd be gone
Rather than having
To sit in your arms
So unless you want
To lose me
Like you even had me
Just let me be and
Maybe in the end
You can see me
Shut your mouth
And eyes it might
Be best for both of us
So until this day comes
Here I sit silently screaming

Poem Submitted: Monday, February 22, 2010

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Comments about Silent Screams by Crystal Carpenter

  • Lillie Garza (3/29/2010 8:41:00 AM)

    I too can write about the things that are scary and go bump in the night but I have never allowed them to lead me to a place where I felt I had to destroy others. Top this granddaughter.
    Night Ghosts
    I lie down each night, the day being gone,
    Thinking once more life’s battle I’ve won,
    But the pain of the past that inside me I kept,
    Make the tears start to fall, won’t let me sleep.

    It’s easy in daylight to ignore what’s there,
    Pretend it don’t hurt me, that I don’t care,
    But it’s scary when darkness starts to fall,
    And my emotional ghosts they come to call.

    They remind me of feelings suppose to be dead,
    And of all of the things I should I have said,
    “What’s the meaning of this? ” I want to shout,
    Yet I keep being silent, so filled with doubt.

    I’d do better to walk the streets at night,
    Only giving into weariness at morning light,
    Than to lie awake weighing the past and it’s cost,
    Realizing I’ve not won at all, my future is lost.

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