DAVID GERARDINO

Rookie (9/19/1963)

Sluggish

Poem by DAVID GERARDINO

THE thunder went bang,
the bang went bark, the
smoke begane to scream,
the scream started to laugh,
and in came, me, me.

THE blast went gone,
the gone went west,
or was that south,
and in came me, me, ,

theres a absence here,
a way out, or a way in,
the first door to the left,
thats right, no the other
left, and in walks me, me

THE scene shifts, and out
walks me, me....


Comments about Sluggish by DAVID GERARDINO

  • Brian DornBrian Dorn (8/7/2006 3:52:00 PM)

    David, I like the element of confusion and how you've found yourself in the middle of it all. Really interesting... well done! !
    Brian(Report)Reply

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  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjrFrank James Ryan Jr...fjr (7/31/2006 11:29:00 PM)

    CHANGE OF POEM STRUCTURE...AND I LIKE IT...MAKES FOR EASIER READING...NICE PENNING, DAVID'''''''''''''''''''''''''FRANK/FJR(Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, July 31, 2006

Poem Edited: Friday, August 20, 2010