Sometimes Comments

Michael, if this is a poem, you might lineate it like one. Line breaks could give it a little more expressiveness. Also, you use too many abstract words (pain, madness, sadness) , as if simply telling the reader will make him feel what you feel. You should read LOTS of good contemporary poetry (Mary Oliver, C.K. Williams) if you want to improve. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC

A good poem. I enjoyed it.