Song For My Brother Poem by Carolynn Shaw

Song For My Brother

Rating: 4.8

Follow the ravens who gather
in the weeping willows.
Silent and starving

near the bank. Dusk curls at
your feet. You watch the busy
hands of trees

pointing toward the river, divided
by an island. A dead ash stands
like a bone knife

Plunged into its chest. Black
swans swimming in it's stomach.
You whisper a prayer for the dying.

River bleeds over stone, smoothes
away rough edges. While the
moon perches on edge of some

unseen horizon. You wonder if
stars seek a sense of place. Step
over things as not to invade shadows.

You are certain they know the river
is bleeding. Know that you are the
one story that began out of place.

William Stoneberger 19 March 2009

wonderful, wonderful images...simply beautiful...thanks...

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Sue Ann Simar 27 May 2007

I like how you start with 'Follow the ravens', pulling the reader right into the poem. Also lines like 'You wonder if/stars seek a sense of place' and 'the one story that began out of place'. Your use of phrases and periods is interesting to me. I wonder when you read aloud how full your stops are? The periods slow the reading down and sometimes almost stop the poem. I would like to have the opportunity to hear you read aloud sometime. I really like this poem.

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Gina Onyemaechi 16 May 2007

Flows as energetically and as harrowingly as the bleeding river inside it itself.

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