Speakeasy Poem by Felipe Gastão

The beauty of men is taking my peace away. I discovered that lust is in me, the more pronounced sin. I can not go through beutiful men without facing them so agressively and nasty. I can not disguise my intense sexual appetite. Most are embarrassed, get away from, or pretend they did not see. What horror, disgust, and indifference they treat me! They are all narcissistic, despise love, they wretch the aberrations. They lock their beuties, and choose a small and select group to compose their audience. People say their shows are grotesque, insane and disappointing, leaving the majority believing the beauty to be a curse. This is what I hear from poets of bars, prostitutes, crippled, miserable of all sorts, who love me. I´d like to inform you that I lost my virginity, in a not conventional way. Tired of my exaustive beauty, wich makes everybody look at me as if I were expensive jewelry. As they do with expensive jewelry, they do to me.The proud pitiful look at me with evil envy. The flatter humiliate themselves in a grotesque manner, ask to eat my faeces, welcomes me with their ridiculous and usual adjectives, that make me feel sick. The rich offer me abundant money, tell me to shut up and smile. The drunk prophets say I am the snake of Eden. The fallen angels are those who most know how to treat me. Their praises are intelligent, very human. They recognize at once my unhappy face, keep staring at me with intense curiosity, willingness to help. They do not promisse the cure, but whispers in soft voice we must not care. Thay say they even like it. In some of those speakeasys, where errors blossom, scars are a charm, aberrations receive compliments, old stick their disgusting tongue in the ears of young desperate and miserable girls, I was delighting myself with misery. I went with a pale and young man, at first charming, traveled, experienced, who said to be the devil more fascinating and closest to Humanity than God. 'Look at the literature, for example, how many references to the devil. The only book devoted to God is the bible, . How did men conceive Lucifer in more detail. It is not so mysterious as God. How men is fascinated by torment, by tragedy, by crime, by injustices. They are beautiful, aesthetically speaking. Nothing moves us more. Perhaps this is the beauty of the human, be unprotected, naked and wronged by nature. Therefore Prometheus gave us the fire. Some naïve hearts claim to be our greatest intellect our major damnation. But wouldn´t it be horrible to live without thoughts, knowledge, transgress, progress. Would we resign before the whims of a sneering and despot God. The intellect does not come under the authority of harsh laws. How stupid he were. Dindn't he know about the disbelief and anger of the child who have similar sins to those of their father, concerning especially vanity. Did not he know he would be killed, inexorably. Oh, certainly we are a product of delirium, impromptu creatures, perhaps due to his vanity and loneliness. Only narcissist creators create beings in their image and likeness. We would be unhappy anyway. It is better for us to build our fate. This is our charm. The damnation, our strength' I lost my virginity with Lucifer himself. Yes, the devil is convincing, and who wants revolution has in him great ally. The sex was dry. In the apex of joy, looked me with contempt. Afterwards, he wore out and began to touch upon the world with the eyes full of revolt.