Substitute... Poem by Aleksandra Szymanska

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce myself:
I am almost forty; I am on the shelf...
It is not that I've never wished to marry anyone,
but too many people say I should have no fun...

Healthy sex these days is a MUST, you'll agree.
I am cautious, I use logic, and I love being free.
So I buy cucumbers - there's wide choice of the size.
They are really economical, I do realize...

I get small cucumbers, just to feel relaxed,
and I slice them for my sandwich - money spend is axed...
And of course I do wash them just before and after use -
the hygiene is important, there is no excuse...

There are many women, who claim they are me...
I am puzzled, I don't get that. How could it be?
Ladies of the GAME here is my advice:
admit that you too enjoy it and then have the slice...



I would like to make a statement: I am not registered on any public/ social website, such as twitter, facebook and other 'dating spot', but I do sense somebody does use my name somewhere there in the cyberspace, exposing 'my' profile against my will, behind my back, making fun out of me and the people who think this is me.

I don't text anybody - my SIM card has been cloned, so I keep my balance at £0 (you won't use my money to text anybody on my expenses without my consent) .

I don't know who you are, perhaps the same person who has broken into my tiny bedsit and stolen my vitamins. Well, next time take the whole box - the half of the dosage doesn't help (Rutinoscorbin is available in every Polish shop; you can get Immunace at your local Pharmacy) .

I wonder what else I am going to be robbed of...