The 12 Days Of Christmas: (Alternative Version) Poem by DM W

For the plonker in the pear tree:

(Verse 1)
On the first day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 2]
On the second day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Two dirty gloves, and
A beer can that was empty

[Verse 3]
On the third day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty,

[Verse 4]
On the fourth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 5]
On the fifth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 6]
On the sixth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Six chavs: all grinning,
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken ' birds,
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves, and
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 7]
On the seventh day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Seven fraudsters plotting,
Six chavs: all grinning,
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 8]
On the eighth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Eight morons mumbling,
Seven fraudsters plotting,
Six chavs: all grinning,
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 9]
On the ninth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Nine slappers dancing,
Eight morons mumbling,
Seven fraudsters plotting,
Six chavs; all grinning,
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.


[Verse 10]
On the tenth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Ten thugs: all fighting,
Nine slappers dancing,
Eight morons mumbling,
Seven fraudsters planning,
Six chavs: all grinning,
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.

(Verse 11)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Eleven crack smoking pipers,
Ten thugs: all fighting,
Nine slappers dancing,
Eight morons mumbling,
Seven fraudsters plotting,
Six chavs: all grinning,
Five stolen rings,
Four drunken 'birds',
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.

[Verse 12]
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my worst foe sent to me
Twelve twockers twocking,
Eleven crack smoking pipers,
Ten thugs: all fighting,
Nine slappers dancing,
Eight morons mumbling,
Seven fraudsters plotting,
Six chavs: all grinning,
Five stolen rings
Four drunken 'birds'
Three poisoned pens,
Two dirty gloves and
A beer can that was empty.