The Bereavement Poem by Jesser Weaver

As I stare at the frame of us in high school....
I can't help but smile.
You always brought happiness to my soul...
like the innocence child.

Couldn't keep focus in class....
because the thought of you...
would just keep me occupied for hours.
Love has strong powers...
that can make a boy shower....
his girl with flowers and turn mine.... into ours.

You were my very best friend....
we stared at the stars all night....
talking about the future.
Our future.
Way before they had....
MySpace or Facebook.
or even laptop computers.

My feelings for you....
were always very difficult to hide.
As a boy....
I would try to have no feelings and emotions....
but you would see right though my pride.
People were left behind me....
and I seen some ahead, but you never left my side.

As we grew into adults.....
and our feelings became stronger than before.
I asked you to take my hand in marriage....
and of course, you said 'OMG Sure! '

I felt like without you...
I was nothing and my life was so empty.
Afterwards.
I felt like I wasn't living this life alone...
I had you, to live it with me.

At 25.
you got pregnant....
and I couldn't be more happier for the both of us.
I was prepared with the baby carriage.
But as the silent tears fell from your eyes....
the weeping from mine.....
when the doctor announced the miscarriage.

I held you so tightly....
I never wanted to let u go....
this is something you can never prepare for.
We prayed countless nights for another miracle....
but that moment Never came.
It always remained just two of us...
I guess some thing's never change.

At 45.
I was laid off from work.
I thought....
How were we going to make ends meet?
So you decided to get two jobs...
and work 60 plus hours a week.

I wish I could've been the one working two jobs...
this was never in my plans.
The more I saw you work do hard...
the less I felt like a Man.
We never asked anyone for anything....
but we had so much to give.
We always turned negative situations....
into positive.

And now....at this old age of....75.
it's so hard to tell you goodbye....
cause you're all I ever known.
The pain in my chest....is holding back the puddles of tears....
that are drowning my pillow flowing to my ears and falling slow.
All i can think about is....

The love I had....
and the family that was never really built.
Makes me feel years of regret...
and deep sympathy of guilt.

I'm too far ahead in my life to even try....
with someone else again.
It's true what they say....
the hottest love always has the coldest end.
I'd rather be poor....
than have all the money and enjoy wealth.
But time also means nothing....
when you're spending it by yourself.

I know you're looking down on me....
and blowing me kisses from up above.
You went from a baby.
to a lady.
to a women.
to a dove.
Mind blogging how things happen...
when you lose your greatest love.

So I continue....
to stare at the frame of us in high school....
I can't help but smile.
I can still smell your perfume.....that sweet potion.
I wish the greatest times of our lives...
would stop playing in mind in slow motion.
I drove a hundred miles....
....just so I can spread your ashes in the Atlantic ocean.