Ron Hopkins

The Cavemans Lament - Poem by Ron Hopkins

The very first time that we met
The dinosaurs were living yet
The world was full of ugly creatures
Such as you with your ungodly features
I remember the club I used on you
It turned you slightly black and blue
It crossed your eyes and knocked you cold
And improved your looks about ten fold
So I dragged you to my cave to be my bride
It was tough cause you were four feet wide
Although you weighed three hundred pounds
I weighed almost four
Our cave was known for miles around
by the hugeness of it's door
Within one year, you bore me twins
We named them Fred and Nelly
I had to hunt five days a week
Just to fill their belly
Then every year like clockwork, two or three
more came along
We couldn't curb our passion despite
our growing throng
Although our cave was crowded and
our love we had to sneak
We made love on average, fourteen
times a week
With the size of you, and the size of me
and the size of our seventeen young
We ate one dinosaur a week. including
the liver and tongue
Also Pteradactyl soup and
Brontasaurus pie
And any creature from the swamp
that chanced to wander by
I died one day while stalking a
Tyrannu Saurus Rex
It was a heart attack that killed me
Too much prehistoric sex

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, June 26, 2005

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