The Commanding Nafs Conspires To Dismantle Me Poem by Mohammad Younus

The commanding nafs conspires to dismantle me,
Manipulating my mind effortlessly.
When I thought I was free from its stronghold,
It dragged me down with irresistible force,
Shattering my sense of self beyond repair.

Forgetting my first covenant with my Lord,
On the day of Alast, where my journey began,
To visit the world He created whole for me.
My heart, once enlightened,
Now gropes in the dark, light fading,
Poisoned thoughts of nafs rusting my heart,
Corroding the very essence of my soul.

How do I battle my evil commanding nafs,
When I call in dark days for light to my Lord,
My sincere guide and friend?
This war, inevitable, I fight alone,
No spirits do I ask for help,
Dead gurus and so-called saviors do not avail,
Resting in graves.
Let me choose my true self alone, purely divine,
As my truest master and guide, without doubt,
For a journey toward my true home,
The house of peace, that was mine in eternity,
Where I was created to ever be,
To remember my essence true incessantly.

Overshadowed by the shadows
Of delusion and illusion,
I questioned my true essence,
Failed to recognize my roots in divinity.
Life shattered, dreams aggrieved,
My heart, with a big void, drowned in gloom,
Pushed into shadows, at last,
Divine therapy healed me.

I am not sick now by divine grace,
It was just a trick of my beguiling nafs.
I don't have now a lot of enemies as I feared.
I have stopped changing the world,
I have started instead changing my own self.
The world around me is never going to change
Unless I change my own self.

MyKoul