The Elongated Poem Poem by James Darwin Smith II

The feeling of ugliness
With back away words
When just trying to exist
As something important
Whatever aspect it may be


Never was a type of anything
Perhaps, it is all for the best
Exterior souls
Have nothing in common
With whom
I want to be in the end


All in all
Just trying to be myself
Freeing myself
From the chains of time
For it was I who put them on
In the first place
As it is I who needs to
Break away from them


I may never be typical
But that is a good thing
Because I would rather be alone
Than be something
I never wanted to be in the first place


And yes, I live too much within
This I do admit
But what a ride it's been

Anyone who is able to venture inside my own head
Without any harsh judgement or an agenda
Is someone I would call a miracle
Within the confines of my own self


Yes, I admit
That I tend to overthink
Over-analyze everything

I tend to worry about things
Beyond my own understanding
When I should just be
Living in the moments of each day


Perhaps, I tend to subconsciously push people away


All in all I do care for others
Perhaps, too much
Especially pertaining
Those who
Only use back away words
In the times they do not need me


But when the wrong ones need me
I get suckered right in
They use scene words
From the play I was unknowingly
Casted in


With myself
I have been making amends


The ugliness I felt
Was never really mine


It was the ugliness of those
That used me to feel better about
Their selfish selves


They never deserved my time
As they drained every ounce
Of moments I could have made
Better if I lived them
Without living stoic
In their own pretentious pretend


They are the ugly ones
As true beauty comes from within

It took so many years to realize this
But hey, here I am


Hope you wore a helmet
Venturing inside my own head
There is even more where that came from
More than I even know myself


But that is why I am here
Expressing myself
Over and over again
Even if I do much of it
Inside my own head


So what am I about?
I hope even I never know who I truly am