The Fairy Tale Poem by CHARMAINE SIMPSON

It has been too long since I have put pen to paper or expressed in words all that has been circling in my mind for months.
I lay alone in my bed early hours of the morning unable to sleep.

How do you close your eyelids restfully when your mind and thoughts are working as though it is the middle of the day?
How do you clear those busy thoughts when they pull at your heart also
causing an obvious awareness of it acheing with sadness,
and the pain is one known so well?

Love isnt suposed to hurt so deeply, it shouldnt rush through
your body as though it doesnt belong,
creating nausea in the pit of your stomach.
If only it was as easy as focusing on the nausea until the inevitable
stomach tightening begins,
working on bringing up in one powerful motion
all that is part of the pain.
Including each and every bad emotion or feeling
from the depths of my mind
to the whole of my heart-
each and every bad sensation gather together in one
heaving vomit it all has gone-

Rid my body of what feels like the poison.
Flush it away and never ever feel it again-
it is over- start another new day -
no remnants wandering within-
pulling at my heart each minute, every
hour- this is not love- and if it is?
Then love is not all it is made to believe -
in fact it is actually the complete opposite.

One day when you fall in love yourself.
It is then you will find the true meaning
and you will ache like never before-
you will cry more tears than you have time to wipe from your eyes-
You will feel the presence of your heart in your chest
because you will feel its heavy deep pain.

You will, for the first time question your mind
and feel the power of your thoughts as though
they are their own master, and dont need your help.
Love is a curse-
so why do we go back over and over looking to find what we
have been foolishly led to believe.
Who are we kidding?
How many times do we get the negative outcome
before we stop looking for something that only exists in fairy tales.
We know they always deliver the same bullshit ending of -
'They all lived happily ever after'.

Wednesday 28th July 2010