The Fall Of Rome Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

One pool was filled with brownish sludge
its colour similar to fudge.
The other stank of pharmacy
and bureaucratic chemistry.

They did assure the stupid masses
that any emanating gasses
were simply signs of distillation
and this would lead to fractionation.

You see, the public servants had
neglected things, and now were mad
that lakes and rivers had run dry
without the water, all would die.

So they convinced the skeptics all
that Rome prevented its own fall
by cycling all their excrements
through special pipes and narrow vents

until they bubbled, mixed and rose
in volume and to please the nose.
The bladders of those placid mules
were used as filters in their pools.

It made the brew look fresh and clear
and wiped away the people's fear.
So, soon the Romans skipped their wine
and helped themselves to bubbly brine.

Their chemists had not known the fact
that oestrogen will stay intact
inside a liquid and it will
wreak havoc first and later kill.

Each woman, since she is a she,
has hormones hidden in her pee.
These substances will act in men
to make them feel like Mother Hen.

They'll grow size 44-D breasts
and try to hide them under vests.
Rome fell due to a lack of tails.
Recycled water killed all males.