The History Of The World Or All Sorts Of People Poem by Margaret Kollmer

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was God
When along came Noddy and with him Mr Plod.
Together they said: ‘Let’s make a brand-new world’
And as they spoke the sky lit up; the earth unfurled.

All sorts of folk were born as the years passed by
They lived for a little while and then began to die.
As the old ones dissolved, a fresh batch came
All different colours, none quite the same.

Now Noddy was creative but Plod was like the law
As Noddy said when angry: ‘He’s stubborn to the craw.’
But down through the Centuries, the dudes lived on
One day to be immortalised by a cyberman called Ron.

Said Ron: ‘Tis time to re-design the people of the world.’
So he taught them how to mould and shape many boys and girls.
So Nod and Plod kept busy a-patterning new folk
Whilst Ron sniggered loudly cos they hadn’t seen the joke!

No arms or legs their new folk had; they tumbled everywhere
Some had faces sweet and round and some were really square
Nod and Plod were very proud, their ‘creations’ were admired
They’d populated all the world and loved what they had sired.

Strangers came from far and wide and gasped in admiration:
‘How great you are for you have made a wondrous Rainbow Nation! ’
And then one day as Ron laughed out he asked them if they knew
The history of the world they’d made, to which they cried: ‘We do! ’

‘We’ve seen the light, ’ they cried out loud, ‘we saw a shining Beacon
And found the recipe for which the whole darned world was seekin.’
Imagine Ronnie’s jealousy when he told his evil cohorts:
‘They didn’t pattern people but Liquorice Allsorts! ’