The Inuit And The Bees - Poem by Herbert Nehrlich
An Inuit from Zodiac
who was a hypochondriac
moved into town and promptly ate
some food well known to constipate.
He asked himself and pondered if
he ought to take a laxative
He did and went down on his knees
into a swarm of honeybees.
Ferocious, all the bees first hovered
but soon they had his bottom covered.
They stung and had the fellow yelling,
the stingers did create much swelling.
And thus, the laxative inside
could not provide the hoped for ride
for all the dark and smelly masses
that get expelled from Northern asses.
The Inuit from Zodiac
expired thusly, from a lack
of ventilation to his gut
due to a fiercely swollen butt.
Your average Northern Inuit
is known to take one daily shit
when fed raw fish and caribou
but it is also very true
that honeybees and white man's bread
can kill an Inuit very dead.
Thus, hear the moral of this tale,
a laxative will surely fail
if Eskimo meets honeybees
while defecating on his knees.
It is not generally realised that several tribes of Inuits are known
for performing this most basic human function while kneeling.
The extremely high fat content of their native diet allows for quick,
noiseless and effortless expulsion and a crouching position would be less practical.
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