The Loch Ness Monster Raped Me Poem by Randy Johnson

(This is a fictional poem)

I proved that the Loch Ness monster is real.
But it raped me and that was a terrible ordeal.
The monster is ugly and as big as a whale.
I learned the hard way that it's a female.
Now the monster is pregnant and she'll have a tyke.
I hate to think of what my freak baby will look like.
Visiting Lochness is something that I regret.
You'd better stay as far away from there as you can get.