Pain is the feeling you endure when you are alone,
It is great torture when you have no friends at all
Pain is the feeling you endure when you break a bone,
You endure great humiliation and pain when you slip and fall
However, you possess the spirit to get back on your feet,
Even if the path in front of you becomes too rough
There will be friends along the path that you will meet,
That will help make you become strong and tough
Also, they will help cure you when you are sick,
They will be friends with you through thick and thin
And they will never think about playing a mean joke nor trick,
Your friends will be as close to you as your own kin
Now I know I cannot quit during the fight,
Because I know my friends will help me see the light.
The actual poem is very nice Jason, although I think perhaps the lines are a little too long, more like a conversation than getting the point across which needs to be using one word instead of two or three words. Because the lines are long and conversational it's quite a lot to take in when reading it. Shorten and I think you will give the same meaning without the poem being too overloaded. This isn't criticizing only giving you ideas to play with. I like the subject, if was just a bit beefy. Love Ernestine XXX
Sorry, me again. Read my poem 'A Friend Is' and tell me what you think. You can critique a poem, it will teach you something about poetry. Best H
Jason I suggest you do two things: A) read as many different poems as you can find B) Practice. If it is easier for you to practice rhyming lines do it, compose birthday poems etc. The poet Jason Anderson (not Jedediah Henderson) wrote poems for his family and read them when they had their tea...... Best wishes H
Perhaps you are truly new to the art of poetry. Yet, this was a nice effort and I believe you will grow into a diverse ability. Just keep expressing yourself. And ignore those who are quick to judge without disclosing themselves and offering a word of encouragement. Certainly focus on continued development. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful piece.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
It was a nice effort and I think you could have potential in writing. Like Ernestine said try shortening the lines a bit. The subject is good, but you did overload the senses a bit with it.