The Shaving Game Poem by John Carter Brown

I truly hate the shaving game
the cuts the nicks and scratches,
the smarting cheeks the razor scrapes
the stick-on paper patches;

the slimy foam on lathered chin
the squeezed and tortured faces,
the plucking of the razor blade
in all the awkward places;

This daily ritual designed
to make a man look 'smart'
is quite anathama to me
and loathed with all my heart.

Yes, I truly hate the shaving game
a thing so dread and feared,
that I've resolved to shave no more
and grow myself a beard.

(Written March 2017)