The Singer And The Children Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

I don't wish to leave
but I must
I struggle with it
I argue with my heart over it
My heart would stay
If it felt loved

I can't leave you, you know
I made a promise to you
and it's the hardest thing to break it
But its killing me inside to stay
If you knew how much you would tell me to go
But you don't see me

I'd stay just for you, I would
But I don't see anymore that my staying will help you
make any difference to your life at all
It all feels useless and meaningless now
We only hurt each other and don't see eye to eye
You don't see the tears I've cried, alone

We don't smile much anymore
though we joke to pass the time
as if time was something we had more of
but we see it painfully slip from us
as we let love slip long ago
Though I still have love for you

Its because I love you that I must go
Because staying will only prolong the slow death and hurt
and make a mockery of who we are and were and cold be
You have a short time left, I want you to find someone to make you happy
I know and can clearly see, its not me....though it hurts me
I see it in the way you let me go off alone

You won't leave me
so it's falling on me to decide
I've hung on for you and gave up being me
and now I have nothing left to hang on with
The end is here and we both know it
One of us must be strong and say

You were my little girl once
You're the one who made me smile and cry
You're the one gave me comfort
But somehow we separated and became rivals
Somehow I became a thron in your side
And it broke my heart and dreams to see it

If I could go back in time I would for you
Life has been so cruel to you and me
I look deep inside to see if I can find anything to hang onto
but there is nothing...only sad memories now
You let me go so often that I lost my way home
I've forgotten what it is to feel loved, but I wish to know

I carried us for so long
and then one day something broke inside
Maybe you knew
Though I did not say
Mabye you've just been tolerating me
No words can express my deep sadness

How can I find the strength now to break our hearts for the final time
I walked by a cemetary today and realized we're not one
I could not imagine you grieving for me or wishing to be with me
I never felt so alone and the lonliness felt so cold
I don't wish to die alone, I need somoene to hold me
Life has just been lonliness and all I ever dreamed was Love