Angela Poen

Freshman - 609 Points (20 April / Brits)

The Tears Of A Busy Man - Poem by Angela Poen

The tears of a busy man

All I ever wanted was to provide
All I ever wanted was to be the head of the house
Little did I know that all you ever wanted was
Neither a dime nor fancy clothes
But to spend some time with me
I thought I was doing the best I could to give you the best life
I wanted you to remain a trophy wife
In the world’s eyes

I agree there were times when I told you I was tired
And wanted to head straight to bed
Turned you down when you offered yourself to me
What kind of a man does that?
When every time I used to claim I have needs
But didn’t give you a chance to provide

I found emails and calls from the office more important than you
I remember you did say there was something you needed to tell me
But I shushed you, told you that the news is still on
Clearly the world’s affairs that did not even affect me
Were more important than what you needed to tell me

Now who’s gonna run my bath for me in the morning?
Who’s gonna pack my lunch box?
Who’s gonna take off my blazer, loosen my tie and give me a massage?
The time I spent at the bar
Watching those strippers do their thing
Is the time I was supposed to give to you
The time I went out for golf with em boys
And side chicks
Was the time that belonged to you

Now that you gone
No bar, golf, soccer, emails, calls or meetings
Can remove you from my mind
I wish you could hear me and respond
Tell me what can I do
To have peace in my life
I know you had a good heart to forgive
But I cannot forgive myself
I cannot live with what I did
I wish I could have listened to you
And hear it from your mouth that you are dying

Now all I’m left with is photos of you
And the diary where you wrote all the things you couldn’t say to me
Because I was too busy to listen
Too busy for you while you were around
Now I can’t be too busy to remove you from my mind
Despite all I did
Your soul deserve to rest in peace
may it rest in peace
I know the hardest apology
one could ever ask
is that from the dead
so I shall mourn forever
with long days
and sleepless nights

Topic(s) of this poem: love and loss

Form: Elegy

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Poem Submitted: Monday, March 9, 2015

Poem Edited: Thursday, April 9, 2015

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