Thirteen Arrest Warrants! Poem by Robert Edgar Burns

(True Story)

Thirteen arrest warrants
Came yesterday in my mail.
Someone stole my identity,
And I almost got put in jail!

Thirteen separate envelopes,
Boy that made quite a stack.
I contacted the authorities,
Saying “Hey this ain’t me Jack! ”

You could not believe the confusion,
Between the County and the State!
Each of them spinning double speak
Saying “Boy we don’t make no mistakes.”

Someone stole my identity
Then went out to commit crimes!
I was always getting bills for him,
I'm sure he is just green slime!

I said some very terse words,
But stopped short of uttering curse.
We finally got it straightened out,
So I’m telling you now in verse!