Thought's I Struggle To Say Poem by Alyssa Siebers

I did not know you as well as I should have;
Every question you have answered,
No need for that wiki,
Your knowledge, Your Wisdom, Your Boundless love,
It's times like these,
Where I know I'm selfishly wishing you back,
It was around this time last year,
Screaming at you,
Now here I am pleading you back,
There were so many hours that could have went differently
And just like before, it's yet another frowning hour.
I know I haven't changed a bit in your eyes,
but you're in no position to lecture,
I've walked far,
I have dreamed more than before,
I've made my mistakes and learned without your wisdom,
I'd admit you've left some scars,
You left some addictions,
Thanks to you, my shoulders are balanced with;
Achievements and Disappointments,
I've changed my mind so often,
On things that do not matter a bit,
One thing however, that has stayed the same.
Was you my love, You're still here,
If not here, then there,
There in the memories that are still worth smiling about.
Everyone who see's me, clearly knows my tongue knows of such the power of love,
I could sing what was always meant to be sung,
I could cry what everyone is afraid to cry for,
I can scream out all the words you all wish you could scream out,
No matter where my feet bring me, it'll always be forward,
I don't plan on going backwards,
The only thing I bring on me is my backpack of memories,
Those are the ones that keep me, me.
Those memories have traced my outline and I've realized the interior for myself,
I have gone so far love,
and although I break sometimes seeking you out,
I know time's have flown by.
I know as this season changed,
So have we.
Before you turned me on to the idea of growing old with you,
We both know.
We both know where it goes from here..
This is powerful stuff, so here I am suffering from the explosion,
trying to throw this backpack away... but it'll never be enough.